Wearing Red To A Wedding That’s Not Yours: Yay Or Nay?

In the West, it’s considered crass to show up in the same coloured outfit as the bride. You’re expected to show respect to the bride and how it is a special day for her by not wearing anything white, or close to white. Which makes sense, does it not? I mean, it is a big day for the bride (and the groom). In all honesty, you’re the star of the show on your wedding day, you’re the main character and you deserve to feel special on the day you’re officiating your relationship with a soulmate!

"The bride may or may not wear white (maybe ivory, maybe champagne), but it's her colour for that day. You don't want to be mistaken for the bride in a white or lace gown," said Brandi Hamerstone, owner and wedding planner at All Events Planned in an interview withMartha Stewart’s blog,"You don't want to stand with the bride and look as though you were attempting to look bridal on someone else's day. Even if that wasn't your intention, that's what people (and possibly the bride) will think, and who wants to be 'that' person?"

But how does one approach this in the Indian wedding scenario? Is it appropriate to wear red or, pink or the same coloured lehengas or saris as the bride in our culture? Are there side-eyes that we’re unknowingly encountering for the faux pas of accidentally stealing the bride’s outfit dazzle? Let’s explore this, shall we?

Why Do So Many Indian Brides Wear Red?

As is the custom in Indian culture, we often opt for deeper, slightly bolder colours such as golds, reds and pinks. Traditionally, the origin of this practice lies in the belief that the colour red symbolises power,auspiciousness, and fertility and is synonymous with goddess Durga’s attire. But it isn’t just the Indian culture where brides wear red and red-toned outfits, Nepali as well as Chinese traditions also favour a bride choosing red as their outfit of the day. In both these cultures, red signifies auspiciousness.

Is It Acceptable To Wear Red To An Indian Wedding As A Guest?

The concept of not wearing the same colour as the bride is rarely heard of in our culture. Many of us haven’t necessarily grown up being told to stay away from certain colours while attending a wedding (except for black, but that’s a story for another day). But perhaps there’s more to this?

Earlier this year, we did see Kim Kardashian receive a bit of flak for wearing a red Manish Malhotra lehenga to Anant Ambani and Radhika Merchant’s wedding. Many reported that she was breaking wedding guest etiquette by wearing a ‘bridal’ colour to an Indian wedding. “I find wearing red as a wedding guest a bit tricky. Because it’s traditionally, the bride’s colour (especially in our culture). However, there is no hard and fast rule that bridesmaids can’t wear red. But, it’s an unspoken rule that the guests should avoid the shade of red that the bride is wearing and let her shine since it’s her day,” says Tasheen Rahimtoola, owner of Taste Retrreat By Tasheen R, “As for bridesmaids (since a lot my best friends have been getting married), it’s the bride’s choice. She usually tells us the colour theme of the attire one wears to the wedding, and that is respected. If she asks us to wear red (which till now, no one has), then that’s different.”

Whereas, if we dig into the depths of Reddit and take a look at some opinions people have about this, there is another way to think about the situation. “Brides no longer wear red! If you’re friends with her I’d just reach out and ask her. If not I would err on the side of caution and not wear it,” acommentthat answered the question of whether someone should wear red at an Indian wedding asked byWilling-Ear3100. “There's no way a guest can outshine an Indian bridal outfit no matter what colour it is, so it should be okay. A heavy red lehenga might be an overkill though...” read another comment byResponsibleSun621.

So, one thing is clear; Talk. To. The. Bride. Call her up and discuss what’s appropriate. However, there may not even be a rule regarding this at all in cultures where red plays an important role in wedding ceremonies. For instance. in many Nepali weddings, it’s a norm to come across guests who also wear shades of red to the wedding. So it’s always good to take stock of cultural context, both traditionally and according to what the modern-day discourse is.

But if you’re seriously considering buying a red or pink outfit for a wedding, then perhaps knowing how to style it and how to go about it in the right way is an important step here. “In Indian weddings, wearing the same colour as the bride, especially red, can sometimes feel like you’re trying to steal the bride’s limelight. Red is such a traditional colour for brides, symbolising love and prosperity, so some guests might feel it’s more respectful to choose another shade,” says fashion stylist and content creator Neha Maggo, “It’s not a strict rule everywhere. If a guest does decide to wear red, I’d suggest going for a different tone or style, maybe something more muted or with contrasting details, to avoid overshadowing the bride’s look. Ultimately, it’s about being mindful of cultural traditions and the bride’s preferences,” she adds.

Even if we take a look at Bollywood celebrities where the bride donned a red outfit; Dia Mirza, Yami Gautam, Sonakshi Sinha, Patralekhaa, and Deepika Padukone, for instance, very few guests were spotted wearing a similar colour to their bridal attire. So, all in all, though there are no rules about wearing the same colours as the bride, it’s best to speak to her and get some insight, and opt for different tones, or hues of reds and pinksIFyou’re keen on wearing such shades.

Cover Image Credits:

Editor: Chaiti Narula;Creative Direction: Neha Ahuja; Photography: Nitin Sadana; Styling: Palak Valecha; Fashion Assistants: Tanushi Goswami and Smriti Mishra; Hair and Make-Up: Bobby Uppal; Production Editor: Neha Ahuja;Location Courtesy: D’Monde Members Club; Model: Ayesha Siddiqui; Sari: Tarun Tahiliani; Jewellery: Shree Jee Jewellers