All About Marriage, Meaning, and the Shiva–Shakti Union

Mythologist and author Devdutt Pattanaik poses a fundamental question: what is the true purpose of marriage itself?

Feb 21, 2026
By Devdutt Pattanaik
  • Shiva-Shakti union
    The first ever union!The Met Museum

    Shiva is described as an ascetic who is immortal, and so, is not driven by any hunger or fear. He has no anxiety about death and no urgency to reproduce. He has no family line to continue, no ancestors whose debts he must repay, no estate that demands heirs. He owns nothing because he seeks nothing. He is content, and contentment frees him from the need to impress, accumulate, or compete. This is why he can live on a snow-clad mountain of stone, smear his body with ash, knot his hair into matted locks, allow serpents to coil around his limbs, and wander freely like a wild bull. Such a man does not need marriage. Why then would he marry, and why would a woman choose him as a husband?


    This question troubles Daksha Prajapati, the father of Vedic ritual order. For Daksha, society runs on participation, hierarchy, and propriety. A man who refuses to engage with rituals, who rejects wealth and status, appears useless, even dangerous. Daksha cannot understand why his youngest daughter, Sati, insists on marrying Shiva. She walks away from her father’s house in defiance, not as a submissive daughter but as a woman who knows her own desire. The conflict is not merely personal; it is ideological. It pits ritual order against spiritual freedom, social duty against inner conviction.


    Daksha retaliates by performing a grand ritual to which he invites all his daughters and sons-in-law except Shiva. Shiva remains indifferent. Worldly slights do not disturb him. Sati, however, is trapped between an uncaring husband and a cruel father. Enraged by her humiliation and by her father’s refusal to acknowledge her choice, she enters the sacrificial fire and offers her own body to her husband Shiva. This act shatters Shiva’s stillness. The ascetic who had conquered desire now encounters grief. In rage he destroys Daksha’s altar, the very foundation of ritual pride.


    When the fury subsides, Shiva lifts Sati’s corpse and wanders the world. As he walks, her body falls apart, piece by piece, across the landscape. These places become the Shakti Peethas, sites where grief turns into sacred geography. The story is layered in time. Early narratives from 100 AD only speak of the clash between Shiva and Daksha. The full Sati story appears around 500 AD, and the idea of the body fragmenting across India emerges after 1000 AD. Myth here is not fixed history but evolving memory, shaped by the needs of different ages.

    Shiva-Shakti
    Shiva-ShaktiThe Metropolitan Museum of Art

    Yet the most significant part of the story begins after death. Sati is reborn as Parvati, daughter of the mountains. This time she approaches Shiva not with defiance but with patience, devotion, and argument. She asks a profound question. If Shiva is content and complete, does he care about the discontent of the world? Does one who seeks nothing have any role to play for those who yearn, crave, and suffer? What about ghosts who long for rebirth, souls who cannot find the path to immortality unless someone shows it to them?


    Shiva understands the logic. Detachment may bring personal peace, but it offers no solace to a restless world. This time the goddess does not go to the god; the god comes to the goddess. Shiva agrees to descend into life and marry Parvati. Yet he has no idea how to be a groom. He has no family elders, no ritual knowledge, no sense of social performance. He arrives smeared with ash instead of sandalwood, with snakes instead of garlands, with ghosts instead of relatives, and riding a bull instead of a wedding horse. The wedding dissolves into chaos and laughter. Humor becomes a tool to soften fear, reminding society that difference need not be threatening.


     After marriage, Parvati gently domesticates Shiva. She introduces him to the petty rivalries, quarrels and negotiations of household life. She does not destroy his ascetic nature; she gives it direction. As Annapurna, she cooks food for the world. Shiva, who never eats, becomes the distributor of that food. Together they observe how insecurity, envy, and pride ruin human relationships.


    The marriage of Shiva and Shakti is not about property, lineage, or inheritance. It is not about power, spectacle, or display. It is about two individuals giving meaning to each other. One brings stillness, the other brings movement. One brings freedom, the other brings responsibility. Together they discover a larger purpose. Marriage, in this story, is not an economic contract or a social performance. It is a shared decision to engage with the world and make it meaningful, together.

     

    - Avarna Jain,
    Chairperson RPSG Lifestyle Media

    For Manifest to become one of Cambridge Dictionary's most viewed words of 2024 — 1,30,000 hits and counting — it means some of us must have Googled it at least once. I know, I hit that search button over and over again
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    - Avarna Jain,
    Chairperson RPSG Lifestyle Media

    Putting together a homegrown title at a time when the demise of print has been long announced may seem surprising...
    ...but it has long been a dream of mine to give India a magazine it deserves. A magazine that is the country.

    - Avarna Jain,
    Chairperson RPSG Lifestyle Media

    And nothing, absolutely nothing, represents India more than our weddings.It is a time when families are brought together. Traditions come alive as they are adapted to each couple's beliefs. And lives are joined in a way that the romantic in me still enjoys.

    - Avarna Jain,
    Chairperson RPSG Lifestyle Media

    The fact that it comes with band, baaja and baraat — what's not to love?And that is the reason our first issue celebrates:
    THE NEW BRIDE.

    - Avarna Jain,
    Chairperson RPSG Lifestyle Media

    If you look at
    'Curate Beautiful, Create Happy'individually, they are powerful but when you put them together, they become a promise. While each section is dedicated to a word, I hope you will see this as your first of many handbooks for happiness.

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    Chairperson RPSG Lifestyle Media

    Curate
    Where we give you a fast-paced look into everything you should wish list when you start to think about marriage. What to buy and how to dress, along with modern mithai and the homegrown fragrance makers to bookmark. Make special note of the feature on alta.

    - Avarna Jain,
    Chairperson RPSG Lifestyle Media

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    - Avarna Jain,
    Chairperson RPSG Lifestyle Media

    Create
    This section is a building block, a step to a better life. A place where we have all the answers. Or at least the beginning of a great conversation.

    - Avarna Jain,
    Chairperson RPSG Lifestyle Media

    Happy
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    - Avarna Jain,
    Chairperson RPSG Lifestyle Media

    This first issue has a lot more, including a carefully edited address book of everything you need to make your wedding perfectly 'gramworthy! But it doesn't stop there. Each issue will be different because each one of you is unique.
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    - Avarna Jain,
    Chairperson RPSG Lifestyle Media