Are We Over Being Shy About Discussing Sex Toys?

You know what’s the ultimate trope in the world of romance? The slow burn. And India’s tryst with sexual discourse has been exactly that—a tantalising burn, brewing over the past decade. And, it’s finally starting to give us deliverance from our pent-up passions.

With a polite ‘Thank you, next,’ we are moving on from the days when talk of masturbation and pleasure was taboo. Now, there’s nothing stopping us from giving voice to what we want and how we want it, embraced with open arms (and legs). Over the past decade, Bollywood has presented us with a bunch of narratives that thrust pleasure into the limelight with films like Margarita with a Straw [2014] and Lipstick Under My Burkha [2016].

The rise of sexual wellness influencers and theemergence of sex toy brandslike The Sangya Project, MyMuse, Leezu and I Am Besharam have also helped strip back the layers of societal norms to seek desire in relationships and women’s agency uninhibitedly.

“As the taboo begins to be questioned and brushed aside, people are finally able to seek out and access sex education information, sexual health services, and pleasure products more openly. I believe the demand was always there, but more people finally have access and agency to act upon their desire”, says Leeza Mangaldas, a sexual wellness content creator and founder of Leezu.  “In fact, the single largest consumer products in India are sex toys,” adds Seema Anand, author, mythologist, and Instagram’s favourite sexual wellness content creator.

Women are, unfortunately, still two steps behind men. Thatspersonal.com, a sexual wellness product website, conducted a survey analysing data from over 80,000 orders, which showed that 62 per cent of their customers were male and the remaining 38 per cent were women.

Divya Chauhan’s ItspleaZure recorded men accounting for 75 per cent of the traffic and almost accounting for 75 per cent of the traffic and almost 85-90 per cent of the transactions.  It will take some time to reach the 50:50 equation, but Deccan Herald in the meantime has said women’s sex toys sell more, in volume.

The pleasure diet

No orgasm is one size fits all. According to a study conducted by Pleasure Better on the orgasm gap, 91 per cent of men had orgasmed during their most recent sexual encounter compared to only 64 per cent of women. If anything, this tells us that matters related to women’s pleasure are being swept under the bedcovers.  Because chances are if you’re a proud vulva owner, just relying on penetration isn’t exactly the key to satiation since only 18.4 per cent of women can orgasm from it. Equating penetration with an orgasm is the misconception causing the orgasm gap, the misconception causing the Orgasm Gap. And at the vanguard in the fight to achieve pleasure parity are sex toys.  The trick is to figure out what mix works for you—from nipple play to clitoral stimulation. Sex toys are the answer to all your prayers.

Back to our roots

Offerings on film and OTT platforms are also coming out with the raw truth—check reruns of the  2019 Netflix release Sex Education or the epic ‘Big O’ scene from Kiara in Lust Stories [2018].

Indians have not always been prudes. Anand tells us, “Tradition in India actually goes way back, all the way to ancient China.  They used to give brides dildos as gifts and the tradition continues in some dildos as gifts and the tradition continues in some places today. Even in the time of the Kama Sutra, they mentioned phallic imitations made of polished wood or metal. If a really special person demanded it, they’d even make them out of gold or silver!”

Brands at the forefront

India’s sexual wellness industry clocked a whopping $112.45 million in 2023 and is showing a steady growth of 15.24 percent according to forecasts. Within this bustling scene, there are 4-6 major players, each with their own approach, but all united in their mission to bring a happy spring to your step.

In the wild world of sexual wellness, MyMuse and Leezu’s are both brands primarily available online with MyMuse reaching your doorstep quickly on demand through Blinkit.

Each brings its own flavour to the table. MyMuse, through Blinkit, is known for its sleek shape and muted product design, while Leezu’s embraces a more vibrant style, offering products in bright colourful and unconventional shapes.

At the forefront of MyMuse’s design ethos is keeping in mind the nuances of the Indian mindset. Leezu’s however, isn’t just about functionality; it’s about having some ‘serious fun’. “If I was Elon Musk, I would have dropped vibrators to everyone from drones, that’s how important I find it” adds Mangaldas.

Things to remember

While buying a product, however, always remember the importance of discretion and safety. Groove, MyMuse’s bestseller, was created after recognising both. “Discretion was a key consideration during the design process of Groove,” says Anushka Gupta, co-founder of MyMuse. Groove’s success was the result, founder of MyMuse, 's intensive research and testing, ensuring it met the needs of customers for discreet, accessible, and pleasurable experiences.

Leezu’s top sellers: Pyari and Toofan, pebble vibrators and a sleeve respectively, are both discreet yet fun and claim to be easy for first-timers.

Let’s walk the sex talk

It’s too early to celebrate women’s liberation in the bedroom because people are still fumbling in the dark, tripping over outdated stereotypes with a woeful lack of sex education and dodging cringeworthy misconceptions. Enter our saviours in shining armour—sex-positive content creators. They are all about diving into the deep stuff and showing. Newbies the velvet handcuffs, er... ropes when it comes to getting to know their bodies. They’re levelling up the conversation by hitting up those questions we usually skirt around, from periods to pleasure to sexual health.

As Sex Ed 101, Anand offers sound advice: use a mirror. “The first thing we really need to start instructing young people is that your genitals are not dirty. Your first toy should really be a small mirror.” Place a mirror down there and really look at yourself. At first, you might feel weird, but it truly is a liberating experience. Consider this your portal to enjoy the best orgasms in life.

Sure, flying solo can be a blast, but let’s not forget it takes two to tango. If you are ready to make those toys a permanent fixture in your bedroom, keep the conversation flowing like it’s dinner talk, ease into the fun with playful activities, and share the love by considering a toy for each partner, suggests Anand.

So, dear readers, there you have it—a wild journey through pleasure. From ancient traditions to modern marvels, this trip has been a blast. Sex toys aren’t just about instant pleasure; they’re partners-in-crime for sparking connections and steamy moments.

Embrace your desires and dive into a world where you are in control of everything that brings a sparkle to your eyes.