Heartwarming Ways To Honour Your Departed Ones On Your Wedding Day

When Mumbai based nutritionist Jeel Vora and her long-time boyfriend Monil Soni decided to tie the knot at Raffles Udaipur, The groom decided to surprise his to-be-wife with a sweet surprise on their wedding day.

“I got married after my father passed away. My now husband and then-boyfriend kept planning these little surprises to amaze me time and again, but this time he kept it extremely secretive. While I walked down the aisle as a bride at Raffles Udaipur, I caught a hazy glimpse of someone sitting next to my mom. On peering closely, for a moment I was surprised ‘Could it be Papa?’ I asked myself. But later,  I realised it was a life-like statue of my father. It was so lively that it felt as if Papa was sitting there watching the wedding. Although I wanted to wail my heart out, I  decided to smile through my wedding day because my father would have never liked to see me crying on my wedding day,” she recollects.

Whether it’s a pet, a parent or a friend, not having your dearest people by your side can be heart-wrenching. Even though they might not be present physically, one cannot deny that they always have their gaze fixed on us. By incorporating elements dear to them in your wedding venue you can always pay homage to their existence at your wedding.

Remember how Actor Parineeti Chopra paired her maternal grandmother’s heirloom challa (keychain) with her ivory-hued wedding lehenga. And who can forget Meghan Markle and Prince Harry walking the aisle with the hymn ‘Guide Me, O Thy Great Redeemer’, being played in the background, the same carol that was played during Princess Diana’s funeral.

So, if you wish to honour your deceased loved ones on your wedding day to keep their memories alive in your mind and of those who are attending your wedding festivities. Here are a few ways…

Ways To Include Your Deceased Ones On Your Wedding Day

Embrace artificial intelligence and technology

Do you remember scrolling through reels of artists using artificial intelligence techniques to include late actor Rishi Kapoor in Ranbir and Alia’s wedding pictures, a few days after the couple tied the knot?

Whether it’s incorporating deceased members in photographs, changing backgrounds or creating heartfelt messages with the voices of particular people, AI has made almost everything possible. The latest innovation in the domain involves connecting people with their deceased ones. So, for those who wish to receive a message from their loved ones or incorporate them into your wedding pics,this is the way to go.

“A popular way to use technology to honour your deceased ones is to use images, pictures and videos of memories of their loved ones and make it into one consolidated video. For one of the weddings that we did, we made an AI-generated video message from the deceased family member with the exact voice,” says wedding planner and founder at The Weddingwale, Reetu Jain,“ The process of wedding planning takes nearly 9-11 months during which we become extremely close to the family members. To execute this plan we had a first cousin helping us understand the relationship between the bride and her father and providing us with the needed material. With the help of experts, we designed a very beautiful two-minute video with a simple and sweet message from her deceased parent. By the end of the video, the bride was overwhelmed.”

Experiment with decor and design

Even though our loved ones may not be around us physically, they have given us some lovely memories to cherish for a lifetime. And your loved ones would be more than happy to see you reliving the memories you shared with them even without their presence.

“Recreating memories and scenarios close to one's heart transports people back in time and helps infuse nostalgia into the wedding festivities. Design and decor always provide ample space to experiment with different elements, says, wedding designer Rishi Rochlani, “Whether it’s using a particular flower as a part of the bouquet, the decoration or the wedding trousseau, or incorporating a deceased family member's favourite scent in the wedding venue, the scope of creativity is limitless. For one of the weddings, the bride mentioned that she used to go to the fair with her deceased uncle during her childhood, so for the Mehndi ceremony we organised a Ferris wheel, which is usually seen at fairs. The bride and the groom were elated to go up and down the wheel and relive the childhood memories.”

Food

If you have followed updates of the Ambani wedding, you might be aware that Mukesh Ambani had included South Indian dishes from Mumbai’s renowned eatery Cafe Mysore in his son Anant’s wedding menu. This was the same place that was dear to his father, the late business tycoon Dhirubhai Ambani.

Whether it’s having a cocktail with the name of your pet or your deceased family member or incorporating an heirloom recipe or a special dish into your wedding menu, for those who wish to subtly remember their departed ones without making it too prominent, infusing life into memories associated with food always works well.

“One of the grooms told us that his favourite childhood memory used to be to go to hisnani's house, on the terrace where in one corner, there used to be the Nimbu ka Achar, (lemon pickle) that she used to make and he used to sneak one lemon when no one was watching over. So, for the Haldi ceremony, we chose a hotel with a terrace and filled the glass jars with spiced lemons. Although the groom is not an emotionally expressive, once he saw the venue and the decor, he went on to bawl like a baby,” says Rishi Rochlani.

“In another instance, there was one couple who told us about a favourite childhood dessert which was made by their grandmother, so we coordinated with the family members, passed the recipe to the wedding caterers and kept the dessert as a part of the wedding menu. To keep it simple, we just kept the name of the dish ‘Naani ka Halwa’.”

Life-size replicas or statues

Having statues of your deceased ones on your wedding day can almost create an impression of their presence. Moreover, a life-size replica of the departed person can also help capture some memorable clicks without feeling the pangs of separation.

“For people who wish to incorporate a wax statue of a deceased member in their wedding, we advise you to choose your artist wisely, start the process way before the wedding festivities and be extremely mindful about the logistics”, advises Mukesh Agarwal, founder at Ties n Knots weddings. “At Jeel Vora and Monil Soni's wedding, the groom wanted to surprise the bride at the wedding venue with a wax statue of her father. So, we secretly worked with a professional studio to create a statue of the bride's father, months in advance which was unveiled at her wedding venue before the ceremony. When the bride walked down the aisle & saw the statue for the first time, she was awestruck."

Reserve a place for your loved ones

Whether it’s a destination wedding at a faraway place or an intimate low-key affair with near and dear ones, reserving a place for your departed ones is an understated option that strikes a chord with almost all wedding attendees in the most nuanced manner. You can also decorate the place with vintage frames, flowers and photographs to amplify the aesthetic of the place.

Create a memory corner

Dedicating corners at your wedding venue to your deceased ones with wishes from your family members helps revive their best memories and also encourages interactions with the guests. Moreover, it also helps to strengthen family ties and connections. The best part is that it can also be later used and reused as a part of your interiors and also set an example for sustainable decor.

“For one of the weddings, we had a cute station at one of the engagement ceremonies where we had placed all the quotes of the deceased ones with florals and pictures from family members,” says, Reetu Jain, “We had designed it in such a way that even after the festivities were over we could keep it as a part of the interior decoration to reminiscence the best memories we lived with your deceased loved ones.”

Verbal or written acknowledgements

For those who wish to honour their departed ones by keeping it short and sweet, mentioning their favourite poems in your wedding speeches or mentioning their favourite catchphrases in your wedding stationery can help infuse an element of nostalgia without making it too prominent.

“At one of the weddings, we organised a lantern release during the Mehndi ceremony to honour the bride's late grandmother. Guests wrote their best memories with the deceased on biodegradable lanterns and released them into the sky as if we were sending their love to her above in the heavenly abode. It was a serene and emotional moment that brought the family members together and allowed everyone to connect with the bride’s grandmother's memory”, says Mukesh Agrawal.

Hold a moment of silence

Holding a moment of silence in the memory of your loved ones can help bring people of the family together and help them channel their grief and also remind them of the best times they spent with the departed ones.

While this is a usual way of honouring the departed, it helps foster a sense of togetherness in the minds of the people who are coming together.

Style your trousseau with accessories or elements close to the deceased

The simplest way to remember your loved ones and keep them close to your heart on your special day is to include accessories close to your deceased ones while styling your wedding trousseau. Whether it’s photo boutonnieres, bespoke accessories resembling their jewellery or weaving a piece of their cloth in your wedding ensemble, fashion provides enough space to experiment.

Take cues from actor Yami Gautam who wore a dupatta and a Himachali Nathni (nose pin) gifted by her maternal grandmother along with her wedding saree for her nuptials, and Taylor Dome who weaved white butterflies onto her wedding gown because they were dear to her paternal grandmother when she sealed the deal with boo Actor Taylor Lautner.

Include special personal elements in wedding stationery:

Whether it’s wedding invites or stationery you can always add a dash of your creativity by incorporating elements near to your loved ones, who are no more, to make it even more special and personal. So, ditch the conventional “In the loving memory of” and sit with your wedding invite designer to construct pieces that convey your personal story.

“We once came across a client who wanted a letter written by her grandmother printed on the wedding invite. The letter was written in Hindi so we printed that letter on the front side of the wedding card along with the English translation at the back. There was another case where a bride bought her paternal grandmother’s wedding invite dated long back and wanted us to incorporate an element of artwork from that invitation into her wedding invite, though we changed the colour scheme we replicated the design as it was”, says wedding invitation designer Rohan Sehgal.

“For someone who wishes to incorporate subtle memories of their deceased ones in their wedding itinerary, you can also customise your wedding stationery like welcome notes, ceremony cards, itinerary cards, gift bags, boxes, with elements of your deceased ones like catchphrases, favourite couplets from poems to add a hint of personalisation. For those who have deceased pets, you can opt for wax seals with paw imprints to stamp wedding invites and menu cards for some drama and nostalgia in your wedding festivities without going overboard on it.”

Make Donations on their behalf

One of the best ways to honour your deceased loved ones is to make a donation on their behalf to social welfare organisations to ensure people in need receive the help they want to see a better tomorrow. Seek inspiration from Prince Harry and Meghan Markle who asked their wedding guests to make donations to Princess Diana’s charitable organisation which works towards providing a better life to children suffering from AIDS and HIV.

Although your loved ones may have left for a better place, the legacy they leave behind lives on for years even after their demise, though incorporating elements near to them may not compensate for the loss we have experienced, it can surely assure that they are around and are wishing good for us.

So, which of these ways would you implement to honour departed ones on your wedding day?