These 3 Toxic Words Can Destroy A Relationship, Says Expert

Relationships can be complicated, whether romantic or platonic, and maintaining them is hard, albeit rewarding, work. Sometimes, when we’re with someone for a while, we tend to forget that we have to nurture these bonds with kindness and mindfulness.  

Psychologist and the author of Why Can’t You Read My Mind?, Jeffrey Bernstein, elaborated on this folly in an essay for Psychology Today recently.

“It's human nature to take things for granted. Unfortunately, the same thing happens in our intimate relationships, where we can lose sight of just how precious and special our partners are to us,” he wrote.

The relationship expert went on to explain how to stop the destructive behaviours from destroying your relationships. He wrote about habits like keeping score during arguments or stonewalling, where one partner completely shuts down and refuses to communicate. But one of the most important things he highlighted was what not to say to your partner in any situation. These phrases can erode the trust and companionship you’ve worked hard to build over time.

The three phrases that can toll the death knell to your relationship, according to the psychologist, are: “You’re overreacting”, “It’s no big deal” and “You’re too sensitive”.

These responses can feel dismissive and make your partner feel judged, even if you’re trying to calm things down. “Relationships need mindful nurturing to ensure that they remain strong. The more you avoid dismissing feelings, keeping score, and stonewalling, the smoother the sailing will be in your relationship's future,” he wrote.

So be mindful of what you’re saying to your partner, as it could have irreversible effects on your relationship.