4 Brides Share How They Celebrated Onam After Their Wedding

Whether it’s planning the menu for the Sadhya (the Onam feast), designing the  Pookalum (the Onam rangoli) or shopping for a traditional Kasavu saree, as a newlywed wife, you are bound to experience feelings of anxiety, fear, sadness and excitement while planning for your first Onam after marriage at your new house, whether you're living alone or at your in-law's place.

We spoke to women who went through this to hear what they had to say about their first Onam experience as a newlywed.

From receiving a surprise visit from in-laws at the workplace to organising a private photo shoot, brides share their stories of their first Onam celebration after getting married…

Brides Share Stories of Their First Onam Celebration Post-Wedding

The warm acceptance

“Onam was always a grand celebration at my mother’s place. The day would start early, with all of us gathering to make the Pookalam (traditional Onam rangoli) with fresh flowers that we hand-picked from our garden. My mother and aunts worked together to make traditional delicacies like Avial, Errisary and Payasam for the Sadhya (Traditional Onam meal). We would dress in our best Kasavu woven outfits, and spend the afternoon playing games like Vadamval (tug-of war).” says Jiss Siby Mundackal, a hospitality professional based in Kochi.

“During my first Onam, I was excited and nervous. But I also missed my home terribly. I was excited to wear the Kasavu saree, help with the Pookalam and prepare the sadhya with my mother-in-law and other family members. To make me feel comfortable and accepted into the family, my husband called the same photographer, Jickson, who captured special moments at our wedding and engagement and organised a private photo shoot for both of us. My mother-in-law helped me with the preparation of the feast and helped me throughout the process with utmost patience.

I stumbled a lot in between while making the arrangements, but my mother-in-law was my anchor. Although I missed home badly, the comforting presence of my mother-in-law and the warmth exuberated by everyone in my new home somewhat compensated for the pangs of separation I experienced”.

When mothers formed a coalition

“Onam is a festival where I get to unleash my creativity,” says Kerala-based Wedding Planner Vyshnavi Vyshnu.

“I always sought inspiration from Instagram, Pinterest and other alternative social media platforms to organise Onam better than the previous year. Every year I used to plan a holiday trip with colleagues, friends and family members to a faraway place to give ourselves ample me-time. However, the highlight of the festival for me is the Onam Sadhya. Being a foodie, I would wait for the wide array of mouth-watering dishes to be laid out and eat to my heart’s content”.

“For my first Onam, I was nervous about preparing a Sadhya. Although I am fond of food, I cannot differentiate a frying pan from a saucepan. My husband is a better cook than me but doesn’t have time to polish his culinary skills. Hence, this year, to give both of us ample time, the leading ladies of both families, my mother and my mother-in-law, formed a coalition and took over the kitchen to organise a lavish Onam feast for the family. While they prepared the most delicious feast, they kept a strict eye on everyone to ensure none of the family members sneaked into the kitchen to grab a papadam”.

The unexpected response

Canada-based orthodontist Binitha Clement describes Onam as a time when she gets to unwind completely. She says, “My earliest memory of Onam was watching Pulikali, (A traditional dance which is also known as tiger dance, where folk artists paint their face and bellies resembling a tiger’s face and dance to the beats of a pulli, also known as a drum). The game I enjoyed watching during Onam was Uriyadi (in which a person has to break a pot full of ghee or curd with a stick).

“ Things changed a lot after my marriage. I am a Christian from Trivandrum, and my husband Ananthu is a Hindu. I come from the big city of Trivandrum, whereas Ananthu comes from Kottayam. This year was my first Onam after marriage, and I was coming back from Canada specifically to attend the festival in Kerala. The Onam celebrations at Ananthu’s place are not as grand as in Trivandrum. I wanted to witness the festival at my mother’s place and relive my old memories. Also, I wanted to be near Amma, my sister and my little nephew.  But, since it was my first Onam after marriage, I was hesitant to talk to my in-laws about the same as  I had heard stories about in-laws being rigid and strict about their daughter-in-law spending her first Onam at her husband’s place.

“ With cold feet, I slowly broke the news to my husband and, then my in-laws. To my utter surprise, they immediately agreed to my request and even helped me with my packing. While dropping me at the station, my husband flashed the same mega-watt smile that reminded me of one of the best decisions I had made in life to marry him. Although my in-laws may not be openly expressive about their love for me, they manage to communicate their feelings via little things. As for their son, though now, he may have agreed for me to visit my mother's place for two days, but when it is for longer than ten days, I need to coax him and cajole him months in advance to get his heartfelt acceptance”.

The Sweet Suprise

Bengaluru-based medical professional Dr Liya Mary John describes Onam as one of her favourite festivals.

She says, “Every year, I take a break from work and make it a point to visit my mother’s place. At my hometown in Vazhakulam, the Onam celebration was no less than a wedding. The preparations began days in advance, and the joy remained in our minds afresh, even days after the festivities were over".

"The best thing I love about Onam is the Attapu (the traditional floral carpet used to decorate homes during Onam). Instead of buying it from the floral market, my cousins would go to the market to pick up fresh flowers and then stitch our carpets. The best part of Onam was the Sadhya, prepared by my mother and aunts. The aroma of the dishes in preparation would fill the interiors of our house and the neighbourhood around us. We would then eagerly wait to relish a fine spread. We would also watch Thiruvarthira(the traditional dance performed by women in groups of 10) in the evening and even sing Malayalam folk songs.

"Due to professional commitments, we could not travel to Kerala for Onam this year. Darren, my husband, and I are both doctors, and we had a lot of work at our workplace. With a heavy heart, we communicated our reason for missing the festival to our families. Much to our surprise, our families, my maternal family and my in-laws, paid us a surprise visit to Bengaluru to celebrate the festival with us. This year, there were no Attapu decorations or Thiruvarthira shows to witness in the evening. The Sadhya was not as lavish as it used to be. But the extra effort undertaken by our ageing parents to travel miles to make us feel loved and valued compensated for all that we missed”.