Has the Internet Confused Basic Decency With 'Princess Treatment'?

Imagine asking your partner whether they would buy you a snack just because you feel like eating it, or asking them to hold your bag when you are tired, or even asking them to text you back on time, and they tell you that you are expecting too much, or they tell you that it is all princess treatment.

A recent dating trend on social media has garnered widespread engagement as it raises a very crucial question for the people in relationships: bare minimum or princess treatment. With women across the globe asking their partners whether certain acts of service would be considered the bare minimum or a kind of special treatment, including popular global influencers like Andy and Michelle, who go by @andy.and.michelle, as well as common users, the trend has sparked interesting discussions.

In today’s world of Instagram reels, social media therapists, and hot takes on love, modern dating has become a mix of inflated expectations and low standards. A growing debate questions what counts as basic decency in relationships—and what qualifies as genuine affection or special treatment. 

Princess Treatment Or Bare Minimum

One of the most talked about trends that has recently risen to the surface- ‘princess treatment’- is a term meant to describe doting behaviour in relationships aimed at women. Though, as matchmaker and relationship coach Radhika Mohta states, what constitutes bare minimum and princess treatment is a fairly subjective topic and varies from woman to woman.

“Clear communication is very important because what one person considers as bare minimum might not be the same for the other person. So the bare minimum always needs to be communicated. For instance, if I want to celebrate Valentine's Day but the other person does not know about it, I need to communicate it to them,” Radhika noted. 

Nonetheless, there are certain habits and actions in a relationship that must not be considered royalty. From surprise gifts to consistency in communication, to sweet gestures, it has become increasingly confusing as to what must be the standards for a relationship, whilst what must be considered extremely special. 

Lately, we have started believing that basic decency and manners are royal treatment. For instance, popular influencer Andy, in the viral video that has now garnered over six million views, stated that giving his wife his jacket when she is cold was princess treatment. Another Instagram user, when asked by his wife in the viral trend whether opening a car door for her was the bare minimum, refused and called it princess treatment. While there’s nothing wrong with enjoying being showered with affection and grand gestures, there’s something deeply troubling about calling respect and paying attention, as spoiling someone. The discussion deserves nuance, particularly if we intend to build a culture of accountability and emotional health in relationships.

What A Healthy Relationship Looks Like

The discussion begins with understanding what the bare minimum in a relationship means, and honestly, the bar is way too low. Radhika explained how some elements create the foundation of any relationship and are thereby the bare minimum that is required to be in a healthy relationship. These include-

• Being consistent in communication and communicating openly

• Being kind to your partner

• Listening to one’s partner attentively and actively

• Being loyal in a relationship

• Respecting your partner and treating them with basic kindness

• Supporting your partner and being emotionally available for them.

While the modern dating scenarios may have you believing that these are grand gestures in relationships, I hate to break it to you, but these are some of the basic things that you sign up for when you decide to be in a relationship, oftentimes, the foundational elements of any functioning relationship. They’re just the floor, not the ceiling.

The Role Of Social Media In Lowering the Bar

But, somewhere along the way, the world chose to celebrate these actions as if they were prize medals. We have now started applauding a man who sends regular good morning texts. A man who manages to stay loyal in a relationship is now considered a rare find, and those who plan dates for their significant other are called husband material. But when did we start romanticising the bare minimum?

When we celebrate the bare minimum, we train ourselves to expect less—and accept less—even when it leaves us emotionally unfulfilled.

We can attribute the rise of the term princess treatment to the digital and social media world, and yet the same digital world has had women rethink their standards and what they must consider as the princess treatment. Ranging from TikTok to Instagram and Twitter, women have now reduced their relationship standards to expecting the bare minimum and call that the royal treatment. 

Meanwhile, Princess treatment, often framed as a lifestyle, describes women being pampered, protected and placed on a pedestal. It involves taking your partner out for candle-lit dinners, spa days, luxury gifts and unbothered soft energy. And while for some, it's aspirational, for others, it becomes a reminder of traditional gender roles.

Nonetheless, the issue deepens when basic care is rebranded as a luxurious experience and the most basic acts of service, like remembering your birthday or picking you up when it’s late, to checking in on you-become a special treatment.

Let’s Reclaim The Standard

If we were to define or reclaim the term ‘princess treatment,’ It would go beyond the materialistic aspect of a relationship. The real princess treatment looks like going the extra mile, like planning extravagant surprises, rendering acts of service that, whilst your significant other may be capable of doing themselves, but you still choose to do it for them. 

Princess treatment has different meanings for different people belonging to the various sections of society, and oftentimes, their familial backgrounds greatly impact what they consider princess treatment. For instance, while some women consider a man tying her shoelace, princess treatment, others consider it the bare minimum.

However, the simplest solution to this debate is to stop using royal metaphors for decency. Being respected, cared for, and emotionally prioritised in a relationship should be treated as what they are, the basic requirements of being in a relationship, instead of being glorified. One must understand that your needs are valid and that real love is about intention, not performance.