Do Women Prioritise Commitment More Than Men In The Modern Dating Scenario?

For decades, the dating culture across the Indian states has been perceived as a tug of war between what is traditionally accepted and the impact of modernity. But if you thought that Indian Gen-Zs were still deep in their soft launch situationship era, you have got to rethink it. According to Aisle’s new study, The Commitment Decade, the country’s dating vibe has officially entered a new phase with couples now looking for something real, and what is even interesting is that women are steering the ship without any hesitation.

A new study by Aisle revealed that out of the 3,400 urban singles who were surveyed, 97% of women have asserted that commitment is currently at the top of their priority list, leaving the era of casual dating in the dust like an old trend that passes by. While men are catching up as well, with a solid 80% of them looking for long-term love, let’s be honest, it’s the women who are looking to rewrite the rules.

However, that is not all. The research also revealed that Gen Z women are leading an emotional revolution, as 67% would choose to end a relationship over mental health issues. For them, therapy talk is basically becoming the new flirting. Millennials, on the other hand, prefer real relationships over flings, and many are ready to walk down the aisle much sooner.

From Bengaluru’s coffee dates to Mumbai’s meet-cutes, Indian singles across cities are now craving for something deeper. Emotional intelligence has become the hottest trait that someone could possess, consistency is the new 'bare minimum', and red flags are being spotted faster than ever. Even digital dating is having its redemption moment, with half the country now believing app-to-altar love is absolutely legit.

But numbers only tell half the story. Behind this massive obsession over commitment is a bigger shift. A shift that has occurred in terms of how we think, feel, and choose our partners today. And to understand what the idea of commitment means to the modern daters and what’s really going on in their hearts and minds, Manifest spoke to Relationship & Dating Coach Ayushi Mathur on what drives women to prioritise commitment at rather higher rates than men.

“Indian women face a very different set of social realities than men do, which naturally shapes their relationship priorities. For most women, there's still immense societal pressure around timelines for marriage, childbearing, and settling down," shared Ayushi as she explained that the biological clock isn't just a personal consideration but something families, relatives, and even colleagues feel entitled to comment on.

“This creates an urgency around commitment that men simply don't experience in the same way. Additionally, women often evaluate practical safety nets when they consider relationships. Questions like ‘Can I build a stable life with this person?’ or ‘Will this partner respect my choices and support my growth?’ matter more when you're navigating a society that still has significant gender inequalities.” She further highlights that for many women, commitment represents security, partnership, and the ability to plan a future with some certainty. Men, on the other hand, often have more social freedom to explore, delay decisions, and aren't penalised as harshly for taking their time with commitment.

Impact Of Cultural Conditioning On The Perception Of Commitment

So, does cultural conditioning play a part in this? “I'd say cultural conditioning accounts for the majority of this gap, probably around 70 to 80 per cent. From childhood, Indian girls and boys are socialised very differently around relationships and marriage.”

Ayushi points out that girls are often raised with the understanding that marriage and family are central life goals, while boys are encouraged to focus on career and achievement first, with relationships coming later. “This messaging is reinforced through media, family conversations, and observations of gender roles within their own homes. The idea that a woman's worth is tied to her relationship status, while a man's worth is tied to his accomplishments, runs deep.” 

That said, Ayushi further shares that individual personality absolutely plays a role. According to her, some women are naturally more independent and less focused on commitment, while some men are deeply oriented toward partnership and family. “But these individuals often have to work against cultural expectations rather than being supported by them. The conditioning creates a baseline that's hard to escape, even for people who might personally feel differently.”

Does The Idea of Commitment Differ For Men and Women?

Steering the conversation further, Ayushi shares that men and women often interpret the idea of “commitment” differently in the present times. “For many women, commitment still means marriage, cohabitation, and building a shared life with clear definitions and timelines. It's about creating structure and moving forward together in tangible ways. For a lot of men today, especially younger urban men, commitment has become more fluid. They might consider themselves committed while keeping things less defined, being in an exclusive relationship without necessarily discussing marriage timelines or future plans concretely.” 

Further, she adds that there's also a difference in how commitment is demonstrated. According to her, women often look for consistent emotional investment, future planning, and integration into each other's lives, like meeting families and making joint decisions, while men sometimes interpret commitment as simply being faithful and present in the moment without necessarily building toward something specific. 

“This disconnect causes a lot of frustration because both people think they're committed, but they're operating with different definitions. The gap widens further because men often feel less external pressure to formalise commitment, so they're comfortable with ambiguity that women find anxiety-inducing.”

Financial Independence and The Idea Of Commitment

Additionally, Ayushi shares that financial independence is changing the conversation around commitment in really significant ways. “Financially secure Women are no longer looking at relationships purely through the lens of stability or provision. They're asking different questions now: ‘Does this person add value to my life?’, ‘Will this partnership enhance my growth or limit it?’, ‘Am I choosing this person or settling because of societal pressure?’ This shift means women are actually becoming more selective about commitment rather than less interested in it.”

She adds that while they still want committed relationships, they're less willing to compromise on compatibility, respect, and emotional fulfilment just to tick the marriage box. According to her, the challenge is that this creates higher standards, and many women find that the men available don't meet those standards, not because of financial reasons but because of emotional maturity and genuine partnership skills. “Interestingly, financial independence also gives women the option to delay commitment without as much social penalty, which is relatively new. They can focus on their careers in their twenties and early thirties without the desperation that previous generations felt, though family and social pressure certainly still exists.”

So, is this commitment gap narrowing among younger or urban demographics? Ayushi shares that it's narrowing slightly in very specific urban, progressive circles, but it remains pretty consistent overall. “In metro cities among highly educated, financially independent couples, you do see more men who are comfortable with commitment and view partnership as an equal collaboration. These are men who've been exposed to different models of relationships, perhaps through education abroad, diverse friend circles, or progressive family dynamics. However, this is still a small segment.” She points out that even in urban areas, many men carry traditional mindsets about relationships despite having modern careers and lifestyles. They want independent, accomplished women, but still expect those women to prioritise the relationship over their careers or compromise more in the partnership. “What I see happening more is that the conversation has changed, but behaviour hasn't caught up. Young men will talk about equality and shared responsibility, but when it comes to actual commitment decisions like marriage timelines, moving cities for a partner's career, or taking on domestic responsibilities, traditional patterns still emerge.” She highlights that the gap might appear narrower because dating has become more casual and extended for everyone, but when you look at who's actually pushing for commitment and who's comfortable with indefinite ambiguity, the gender divide remains clear.

The Influence of Dating App Culture On The Idea Of Commitment

While concluding, Ayushi ponders over how dating app culture influences the difference between men and women in terms of commitment. She says that the dating app culture has amplified this gap significantly. “The apps create an illusion of endless options, which affects men and women very differently. For men, especially those who get decent attention on apps, there's a paradox of choice that makes them feel like closing doors prematurely. Why commit when you could swipe and potentially meet someone even better?” She states that this isn't necessarily malicious, but it creates a mindset where people become options to be evaluated rather than individuals to invest in. 

She shared that women on apps often have the opposite experience. “While they might get more matches, the quality and intent behind those matches are frequently disappointing. Many women find that men on apps are looking for casual connections or are simply exploring without serious intent, which reinforces their desire for clarity and commitment when they do find someone promising.” She further highlights that these apps enable a behavioural pattern where men can maintain situationships, keeping things vague and undefined while still getting their emotional and physical needs met. 

“Women generally find this exhausting and unfulfilling, which pushes them to seek commitment more actively. Another factor is that apps have normalised a low-investment dating culture. People ghost, breadcrumb, or keep multiple connections going simultaneously,” she says while concluding. “Women tend to find this draining and crave the security of commitment, while some men have adapted to treating dating as a casual, ongoing activity rather than a path toward partnership.” The fundamental issue, according to her, is that apps have made avoiding commitment easier while simultaneously making the search for commitment more frustrating.