How To Ace Dinner With The In-Laws 101

Meeting your partner’s parents for the first time is quite a nerve-wracking ordeal. Yes, meeting the future in-laws is important and one must take the location of this major event into serious consideration. Whether you’d like to reserve a table at a good restaurant or host a dinner at your place, there are ways you can ace meeting your would-be partner’s parents. 

What Is All The Fuss About Meeting The In-Laws

Well, technically, the fuss has always existed. Meeting anyone your partner holds dear to them is a pretty big deal. You want to make a good impression and maybe even become good friends with them. Meeting the parents has even bigger implications and significance. Especially in many Asian cultures where parental approval is held in high regard. And, this is why, pop-culture has succeeded in tapping into the hilarity and initial awkwardness of the great meet-and-greet. From Indian movies such as 2 States, Hum Do Humare Do, 14 Phere, and Motichoor Chaknachoor to Hollywood watches such as Meet The Fockers, You People, and My Big Fat Greek Wedding, films have always captured the discomfort, excitement and sense of family that comes with meeting the in-laws. 

Likely, the first time you meet bae’s parents won’t necessarily be the warmest or even the smoothest. There will be moments of tension, but it’s often all a part of the process. It’s natural to have differences and awkwardness as every family has an individual culture and a different set of values they grew up with. But slowly, and eventually, you will feel at home with each other’s family. And I think it’s safe to say that a good first impression plays a pretty integral role in making that happen. 

What Can You Do To Ace That Dinner With The In-Laws?

Break the ice with humour, warm banter and curiosity

If you’re heading out to a favourite restaurant then it seems both partners have to take some initiative to neutralize the atmosphere and make it more welcoming for everyone present. “Indian families love food, and feeding people food. So, start the conversation with food, banter, and humour. Use humour to address the elephant in the room to make things less awkward. Be authentic and vulnerable. Aside from this, make sure you do some research. Be curious about your in-laws’ interests to make them feel more involved in the entire process,” says emotional wellness and life coach Ronit Ranjan. 

It’s great if one person takes the lead

In Indian culture, especially in an arranged marriage scenario, the parents of a woman are intentional about ensuring that their daughter is marrying the right person for her. And according to Sundeep Sangwan, a wellness, relationship and life coach it’s important for men to take everything about the interaction with their partner’s parents in their stride, to not take anything personally. “Be polite and practice good listening skills.

Be proactive in ordering food if you’re heading out to eat. Make sure you’re taking the lead in breaking the ice between everyone, be honest, and add light-hearted banter to the conversation. The couple must work at taking the initiative to make everyone comfortable, In most cases, it takes women time to warm up and participate in collective discussions, in such scenarios, men should encourage everyone’s inclusion in the conversation and take charge a little,” he says. 

Create a welcoming environment, if you’re hosting

From being mindful of the table setting to the wine selection and food allergies, there is a lot to consider when you’re hosting. Aside from understanding family members’ favourite cuisines or snacks and beverages, it’s important to keep everyone’s dining styles in mind. Indian food is often consumed using hands and not cutlery, so staying open to this and providing post-meal clean-up options such as hot towels should also be planned. “In terms of food, definitely check their allergies, and food preferences such as if they’re vegetarian or not, and of course everyone’s spice tolerance levels. 

In terms of the decor and ambience, lamps, flowers and candles can make any space look more intimate and warm. If you want your guests to feel welcomed, making an effort always makes people feel special,” says Tarini Manchanda, who’s a Delhi-based content creator and entrepreneur. 

Acquaint yourself with the art of being presentable

The truth is that first impressions do play a major role in how someone perceives you. So, being mentally prepared about some conversation topics you can refer to throughout the night, practising good posture and staying pleasant and light-hearted is important. “You will need to strike the perfect balance between exuding confidence and keeping any aggression under wraps.

Present intellectualism, elegance and confidence. Maintain a respectful way of dressing. Make sure your hair and fingernails are clean. If you’re meeting the parents at their home, taking a gift such as a bouquet or desserts along with you, and if you’re meeting at a restaurant, then a small token of appreciation is a good idea. Walk tall, maintain a calm and relaxed attitude, and assert your personality in small doses. So, be yourself, but also practice the art of being charming and a good conversationalist. Start by offering the elders dishes first and ask about their choices!” Says Rukshana Eisa, a grooming and etiquette expert.