Master The Art Of Politely Declining Wedding Invites
You might think your absence might not matter amid hundreds (often thousands) of other guests, but it does…
With our timelines filled with people getting engaged every second, theupcoming wedding seasonis bound to be packed. You can prepare your social calendars to be filled with pre-wedding and wedding invites from close friends or loved ones that you absolutely cannot miss. But whiledressing up in beautiful clothesand jewellery and celebrating the newlyweds with your loved ones might sound like a dream it can be exhausting in reality and you might have to bow out from attending at least one or two weddings.
Whether you’re declining a wedding invite because of exhaustion or a prior commitment, you cannot get away with simply ghosting and hoping that the person or couple who invited you would be alright with it. That’s the thing about adulting. There’s no escaping the awkward conversations. Thankfully, we managed to rope in etiquette experts to help us navigate this tricky terrain.
As the wedding season approaches, take a look at our guide to mastering the art of politely declining a wedding invite. Take notes.
How To Decline A Wedding Invite Politely
Why is it important to decline an invite?
You might think that you might not be missed amid hundreds (often thousands) of guests at a wedding and declining an invite personally is unimportant, but you’d be wrong.
"If you look back 10, 15 years or even 20 years back, there was nothing called RSVP (Répondez s'il vous plaît, French for respond, if you please) in our country. This new concept has crept into our culture because weddings today are also expensive. So people expect an RSVP, and that's why they send you things like the Save the Date cards,” says author and etiquette expert Shital Kakkar Mehra, adding, “With things likea destination wedding, there’s added pressure on the couple to finalise the guest list.”
What to keep in mind while declining an invite?
Grooming and etiquette expert Rukshana Eisa insists that timing is very important when it comes to declining an invite the right way. “Declining a wedding invite can be a tricky situation and you must respond as soon as possible.”
Whether it’s a destination wedding or not, you must ensure you convey your availability to the couple as soon as you can, as it can get tricky to do it gracefully later.
How to decline a wedding invite if you’re close to the couple?
If you’re close to the person getting married, or even the couple, it’s decidedly trickier to get out of attending the wedding without hurting someone’s feelings. The key to doing it the right way is to be honest and direct. “If you're very close to the couple, you need to make a phone call and decline. You cannot do it over a text,” says Shital, “You have to follow it up with sending a gift or whatever is the appropriate budget. It's a token of redemption.”
Rukshana backs this up and adds that it would help if you make an effort to celebrate their union after the festivities by making plans to meet up later or inviting them over for dinner.
How to decline a wedding invite if you’re not close to the couple?
If it’s a colleague who you haven’t spoken with beyond exchanging pleasantries every day or a distant friend, you don’t need long drawn-out explanations for your absence from their wedding. “If it is not somebody you’re close to, then in this case, you can just call them up. Apologise and express your regrets for not being able to make it to the wedding.”
Shital adds that sending flowers can be a nice touch because they did, after all, think of you while adding you to the guest list but it’s ultimately your personal choice.
What to say while declining a wedding invite?
According to Rukshana, a clear and crisp message always gets the job done. “You can say something like ‘Thank you so much for including us for your special day. Sadly we will be unable to attend as we have a prior commitment on those dates, clearly it is our loss. Wish you all the very best always!’”
Shital adds that being direct and honest is always the best solution in these situations.
So the next time you're faced with the possibility of declining a wedding invite, refer to our quick guide to get it right.