Yes, Love Letters Are Still A Thing And Here's How We're Writing Them

Whether you’re in a long-distance relationship or living in the same house, technology has become a third wheel in all of our relationships. How many times have you found yourself communicating with your partner only via hilarious Reels and memes on Instagram? In times of  GIFs, and forwarded WhatsApp memes, a note penned with love can be gold. Do you remember how Radhika Merchant wore a custom gown by Robert Wun that had a love letter by Anant Ambani printed all over it ?Whether your love letter gets immortalised in couture or not, it will always serve as a reminder of how you felt at another time in your life and emphasise your bond.

“I'm quite sure that these days there’s hardly anyone who is writing a love letter the old way," says romance novelist Sudeep Nagarkar, “Though people may not write a love letter, we cannot deny that they are still typing it. At the end of the day, the expression and the emotions in the contents are what makes the difference. So, whether you are writing a love letter the conventional way with a pen and paper or typing it, focus on remaining true to your emotions and trusting your instincts while putting out your feelings. A love letter, whether written on WhatsApp or the conventional way, should portray your real feelings and what the person in the relationship means to you because that’s what makes the difference.”

Things To Remember Before Writing a Love Letter

So if you’re inspired to sit down and pen your thoughts into a love letter, we’ve put together a quick guide to get you started. It might seem simple but putting down your emotions into words can stump the best of us. So read on and take notes!

Presentation matters

Irrespective of whether it’s a handwritten, personalised note or a typed letter, being mindful of the aesthetics can earn you brownie points. If it’s a handwritten note, feel free to spray your favourite perfume or wrap it up with gifts that they love to make it even more romantic. You can score bonus points by adding a wax seal to add some drama.

“Whether it’s a paperless love letter or a handwritten note, the efforts you are willing to put to communicate with your lover should really reflect, an easy way to do that is to create the perfect backdrop and be mindful of the aesthetics, " says relationship coach Komal Mal, “In case of handwritten notes, use stationery and ink that strikes a chord with their personality and showcases the unique nature of their relationship. If you are writing a digitalised letter make sure you use modern-day emojis and personalised GIFs to go OTT.”

Strike the right tone

Penning down your emotions through words without coming across as too needy can seem difficult. Thus, to start simple, keep the tone as informal as possible.

“A love letter to your beloved should encapsulate your true feelings”, says relationship and dating coach, Sundeep Sangwan. “Writing a love letter is way more different than writing an application for a transfer certificate to your school principal, or a phoney sick leave application to your boss to make way for some me-time. The simplest way to keep it casual is to include jokes, memories, instances and minute observations about your partner that made you fall for them.”

Keep it simple, silly!

Writing a love letter loaded with jargon may overwhelm your lover and also be a turn-off. Instead of needlessly complicating your communication, keep the language simple. While the act of writing a love letter can be old-fashioned, you can use slang, emojis, modern-day lingo and even abbreviations to instil an element of fun.

“A heartfelt message doesn’t always have to be poetic, sometimes simplicity works wonders beyond imagination”, says Komal Mal. “Embracing simplicity while drafting a love letter not only helps to churn out those raw, unfiltered emotions but also reflects the real nature of the bond shared between two people in love without any filters. Moreover, using cyber slang and modern-day lingo eases the tension in the person’s mind who is reading the love letter.

Be clear about what you want to say

Just like having a road map makes your journey to the destination easier, being clear about your purpose of writing a love letter helps you sail through the process easily. Whether it’s proposing marriage, celebrating a special day or just telling your partner how you feel about them, being clear about the purpose of drafting a love letter in the very first place,makes the job easier.

“Having a purpose while drafting a love letter gives you as the writer a strong sense of direction about the further course of action and the emotions you wish to invoke in your partner’s mind, which makes it easier for the words and expression to flow”, says Delhi-based relationship coach, Arunav Gupta, “It not only gives you clarity but also reduces the chances of coming across a writer's block.”

Deliver it the right way

Although this may seem unimportant, this point can make or break your entire efforts,  In the case of a handwritten love letter, be careful to deliver it via common friends or keep it in a place where your lover is most likely to find it. If you are drafting a digital love text, watch out for the date and occasion and the state of your lover's mind before you hit the send button.

"Though this point is highly underrated, it can significantly affect the future course of a relationship,” says Arunav Gupta, “The way you deliver the love letter has an impact on how your chemistry will shape and the reactions it will invoke in your partner’s mind. Being able to write a love letter and being careless about the delivery process like keeping it in places where your lover is least likely to find it, or sending in a mushy note while your bae is having a bad day is like running an entire 100-metre race with utmost energy and slowing down before you reach the finishing line.”

What to avoid while writing a love letter

Here are a few things that may pose as red flags before your bae while they are reading your heartfelt love letter...

Don’t complicate things

Keep the tone of the love letter light-hearted and humorous as nobody wants to open the love letter to read about Socrates’s take on marriage, relationships and commitment.

“A love letter should open doors for further communication and act as a catalyst in building the existing romance, something that can bring a smile on your lover's face when he/she is reading or re-reading it while having a bad day rather than being a mood spoiler,” says relationship coach Chetna Chakravarthy, “The easiest way to do so is to talk about how their presence makes you feel and what you love about them rather than discussing worst case scenarios like ‘what if it doesn't work out’.”

Don’t copy-paste

While it is always easier to look up on the internet for the ‘most romantic quotes of all time’ or ask your friendly, neighbourhood AI bot to write a love letter for you, experts believe this is not something that will age well with time.

“It’s great to reach out to friends who have had relationships or take AI’s help for some reference, but relying entirely on a secondary source is uncool, " says Chetna Chakravarthy, “Seeking a little help is a good idea, but you need to use your own brain to be able to fuse the advice you have received with their own voice and way of speaking so that it doesn't seem like someone else wrote it”.

Don’t expect a response

Love letters can open doors to better conversations and even long-term commitments, but expecting immediate feedback can stifle any hopes of igniting chemistry between two people.

“When a person writing a love letter expects a specific response, it shifts their focus from the contents of the letter towards seeking validation and disrupts the emotions to flow naturally,” says, Komal Mal, “Not expecting a response and having an open mind while being respectful about their decision allows the other person some ample time to think and process and respond to your feelings organically without rushing through the process”

How To Go About Writing A Love Letter

If you have been reading so far and are ready to write a love letter to your beau, hold on, here’s some important advice from experts to help make your writing easier…

The beginning and the end say it all

While the beginning of the love letter prepares the reader's mind frame, the end should be a graceful descent as it leads the person to a place, post which the feelings and emotions begin to flow in.

“The purpose of a love letter is to kindle feelings of love and romance between both the partners, the beginning should prepare the person to get into an emotional headspace and then gradually bring out what one wishes to communicate through the love letter, says, Arunav Gupta, “Similarly, the ending of a love letter should be able to drive your partner into an emotional high point to churn out those feelings that the writer wants them to feel rather than taking them towards an abrupt halt that leaves them confused”.

Don’t go overboard

While everybody enjoys receiving some attention and being showered with love by their partners, overdoing it can sometimes spoil the game and be a turnoff.

“Love letters run a fine line between, ‘, I’m weak in the knees’ and “Ew cringe’”, says romance novelist and producer at Jio Cinema, Nayantara Violet Alva, “People don't realise when they enter cringe territory, or when they get too cheesy, fake, or are trying way too hard to be romantic. While it’s great to sound romantic, overdoing it may come off as being overly dramatic, and seem awkward. The key is to keep it real and personal as it hits way better. Never underestimate the power of subtle flirtation as this may help to kindle the spark.”

Stop stressing about writer’s block

You are bound to come across a block when you have decided to put out your feelings for the person you love, but rather than demonising and battling the block, embrace it and allow the block to subside and die naturally.

Nayantara Violet, who has also written the novelLiberal Heartsreleasing on the 30th of October believes that not every love letter should be about serenading or adoring the person to whom you are addressing the letter, therefore you should take it easy and avoid stressing yourself. She says, “It’s natural to struggle while expressing yourself. If you’re stuck, you can try reflecting on what you feel makes this person special, what you like about them, and what they find interesting. One bonus tip, you can tune into your favourite romantic playlist while trying to pen down your real feelings in a love letter.”

So are you ready to write a letter to the love of your life?