- Avarna Jain,
Chairperson RPSG Lifestyle Media
OPINION: Everyone’s In Therapy, No One’s In Love
When the spotlight is constantly on you, is there even room for us?
Is therapy speak changing the way we're behaving in relationships?Pexels
Our generation is all about being emotionally in tune with ourselves. It’s about finding yourself, knowing your boundaries, and being clear about what you want. We’ve got self-care routines, therapists, a trauma vocabulary and somewhere in between all of that, we’ve forgotten how to love others. Because here’s the thing: when the spotlight is constantly on you, is there even room for us?
Unsplash
Don’t get me wrong- this emotional evolution is important. It’s amazing that we’re finally talking about mental health and not losing ourselves in relationships. But we’ve become a generation so focused on “me” and “what I want” that we’ve lost the essence of what relationships actually are. No one wants to compromise. No one wants to adjust. Relationships have become a place to receive, not to give. It’s all about, “I deserve every single thing I want,” or “it’s my way or the highway.” But if you’re unwilling to meet someone halfway… What's the point of being in a relationship at all?
We talk about trust, communication, and compromise as the pillars of a lasting connection. But today, compromise has become a dirty word. And yes, while you should never have to compromise yourself, every relationship will ask you to bend a little. Sometimes you won’t get your way. Sometimes you’ll have to show up for someone even when it’s not convenient. That’s not toxicity. That’s being in a partnership.
We’ve started treating love like a threat to self-preservation. And that’s where avoidance creeps in. We don’t call it that, of course. We say we’re “protecting our peace.” We don’t end things because they’re unhealthy- we end them because they asked us to show up in a way we didn’t feel like. Avoidant dating today isn’t always about ghosting or emotionally unavailable partners. Sometimes it looks like polite detachment, being half-in, or walking away the moment things feel a little inconvenient.
Unsplash
Here’s the hard truth: On the journey to finding yourself, setting strong boundaries, and getting clear on what you want, don’t turn so cold, so rigid, that you forget how to love. True love doesn’t just teach us how to receive. It teaches us how to give. It asks for empathy. For effort. For the willingness to sit with imperfection and discomfort, and still choose to stay. That’s where the real strength lies. Love is showing up for one another. It’s sticking through the hard times, even when it’s messy, even when it’s not ideal. So yes, know yourself. Have boundaries. Don’t let anyone take you for a ride. But when love does come along, remember: it will need you to show up. Fully. Because if you’re not careful, all this self-work may leave you beautifully self-aware but completely alone.
The views expressed in the article are the writer’s own.
Shahzeen Shivdasani is a relationship expert and the author of Love, Lust & Lemons
Where we give you a fast-paced look into everything you should wish list when you start to think about marriage. What to buy and how to dress, along with modern mithai and the homegrown fragrance makers to bookmark. Make special note of the feature on alta.
It has everything you need to make your wedding special. From the big comeback of red and pink in bridal wear to how the cool kids are wearing corsets to the celebration, there is only one way to get ready for a wedding —with enjoyment.
This section is a building block, a step to a better life. A place where we have all the answers. Or at least the beginning of a great conversation.
This needs very little description. It has travel with a special focus on incredible India, and a collection of wedding albums, sourced randomly, but collected with abundance because happiness has no limits.
