What's In A Name?

When writer Nupur Sahni Chowdhury, freshly tanned and sporting a bright red choora (traditional wedding bangles), returned to Delhi from her honeymoon in the Maldives 11 years ago, she didn’t expect the Indian immigration officers at the airport to question her marital status. “My husband and I went up to the counter together, but they didn’t believe we were married because I hadn’t yet changed the name on my passport. It didn’t help that my husband had a foreign passport with an Overseas Citizen of India (OCI) card. That incident taught me the importance of taking one’s husband’s name in a country where bureaucratic procedures are so tedious, and people are so judgmental!”

Chowdhury added her husband’s surname to her maiden name on her Aadhar card soon after, but she only changed it on her passport when she was pregnant a few years later. “I was worried that the difference in name would affect my child’s documentation. Indeed, getting his passport, Aadhar card and eventually school admission, became much smoother because of this decision,” she shares.

Chowdhury’s case may be singular because she married an OCI cardholder, but it is a well-established tradition to change one’s name after marriage in India. Pallavi Tayal Chadda, an Advocate on Record at the Supreme Court of India, changed her name too despite facing no pressure from the family. She recalls, “I was in love with my school friend and was thrilled to be marrying him. So, I kept both names to feel closer to him. The idea of hearing ourselves referred to as Mrs & Mr Chadda was so romantic! Nevertheless, I retained my maiden name because I was known as Ms Tayal in court and by my clients. Plus, my maiden name is an essential part of my identity.”

In this day and age, changing one’s name is indeed a personal choice. Tayal Chadda believes that many people change even their first names guided by vastu shastra principles, or add the full names of their spouse to their own. On the other hand, many don’t change their name at all. Samar Singh, a stay-at-home mother of two who didn’t change her name, agrees with her. She explains, “It was never a discussion that I had with my husband or family. Continuing to keep my own surname was the most natural thing for me to do.” This decision didn’t impact any major life decisions such as renewed passports, bank accounts with her husband or school admissions of children who have taken both hers and her husband’s surnames.

Singh believes that in urban India, women no longer face the pressure of dropping their maiden name after marriage. Her assertion is supported by data as well. A survey conducted by matrimonial website Nikah Forever in 2020, had a majority of respondents preferring not to change surnames after marriage. 92 per cent of those surveyed by the matrimony app Betterhalf.ai in 2022 believed it normal and acceptable for a woman to keep her own surname after marriage and not take her husband’s.

However, the sentiment doesn’t ring true across the board. Young advocate Ragini Vinaik, who recently married her college sweetheart, has felt judged for not changing her name many a time. “My husband has never pressurised me but so many others ask why I haven’t changed my name. They are itching to know the reason, and many disapprove of my choice too.”

Vinaik also faced procedural issues in opening a joint bank account with her husband, as well as an account for herself in a bank near her matrimonial home, as there were no documents to prove they were married at that point in time. She says, “Honestly, I haven’t changed my name because I haven’t had the time to do so yet. And the process of changing one’s surname is so daunting that I’ve been putting it off!”

The process is indeed tedious. One needs their registered marriage certificate and a notarised affidavit highlighting details like the maiden name, new name, spouse’s full name, residential address and the reason for changing one’s name. The affidavit should contain a photograph and should be printed on a ₹10 stamp paper. It should then be attached to a written application which is submitted to the gazette department of the relevant state government.

Following this, one needs to publish an advertisement about the name change in a local and national newspaper. Then it can officially be changed in all important documents including Aadhar card, passport, PAN card, voter IDs and bank accounts. The procedure can be pursued both online and offline and takes around 90 days to complete. If one hasn’t had their marriage registered, then the name can also be changed through the Aadhar Card. This requires one to fill out a form attested by the MLA of their local constituency.

Referring to the time-consuming nature of the process, Tayal Chadda concludes, “Women these days aren’t changing their names after marriage mostly because of the hassle involved. Besides, times have changed now. Perhaps some families do judge this behaviour, but most don’t bother.”

The choice to change or not change your legal name after your wedding is a personal one, but don't forget to make an informed choice.