The New Bridesmaid: The Bridal Entourage Just Turned Gender Neutral

The bridal entourage is a celebration of your ultimate squad—your girls and sisters, who’ve been your A1s since day one. They taught you how to straighten your hair in high school, or maybe they met you in a nightclub washroom while you were hunting for mascara, never leaving your side since. But if the bridal squad is a celebration of sisterhood—its soaring highs and gutting lows—why must bridesmaids always be women?

What about your male best friends, straight or gay, who’ve been your safe haven through bad breakups and drunken nights? Or your ride-or-die brother (by blood or bond), whose car has witnessed more personal growth than any Koffee With Karan episode? Don’t they deserve to be part of your squad, too? Growing up on a steady diet of American romantic comedies, the first name that comes to mind at the mention of weddings and friendship is My Best Friend’s Wedding.

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While Julia Roberts plays the classic supportive yet jealous woman, the real star is Rupert Everett. He’s not just comic relief or there to spill the tea—he’s the epitome of girlhood allegiance, standing by Roberts’ side through her wildest ideas and offering reality checks when needed. His character reminds us that no heartache is too big to be healed by a dance with your best friend, especially one who crossed an ocean just for you. This was in the ’90s. But as society evolves, so do our wedding traditions. Vrinda Kulkarni, a 31-year-old second-generation Londoner, says, “My best friend Josh has been in my life for so long. We’ve been through everything together—he’s my family. He had to be there with my sisters, and we decided to call him the ‘maid of dishonour’.” Kulkarni, reflecting on her two-year-old marriage, fondly recalls growing up playing games with Josh in her local park. “I would be the bride, and he would be my maid-of-honour—we’ve been rehearsing this pretty much all our lives.”

Delhi-born Sakshi Chawla, now a Dubai-based doctor, knew she wasn’t getting married without her ex-boyfriend walking her down the aisle. “It sounds weird, but we were each other’s first relationship when he was still in the closet. We later broke up when he came out, but we’ve remained the best of friends,” shares Chawla. “When I found out I was getting married in a Christian ceremony, I knew I wanted him to walk me down the aisle.” Chawla and Kulkarni are just glimpses into the changing expectations of modern bridal entourages.

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Many brides are tired of outdated gender roles. A best friend, whether male, female, gay, straight, or anything in between, offers love and support that transcends the labels we place on them. For me, this resonates personally. Growing up with a predominantly female circle of friends, it crushes me to think that I might not be there for my best friend on one of her most special days. Maybe it’s a familial desire, trying to make good with what’s around, knowing that marriages aren't attainable for brown boys like me. Or maybe it’s just a desire to be seen as a friend of merit, a soul worth cherishing—not just the guy who’s ‘one of the girls.’ At the end of the day, it’s about knowing that they like sea-salt caramel ice cream when they’re sad, and badam-pista ice cream when they’re happy. And honestly, that’s all that counts.

(Names in this story have been changed on the grounds of anonymity.)

This story appears in Manifest India’s Issue 02. Subscribe here for more stories like this.