Why Do Some People Attract Situationships More Than Others?

Some people don’t just stumble into situationships; they attract them as they’ve accidentally signed up for a lifelong subscription. But what if it is not just about what they attract but about what they themselves possess? People who fall into situationships rather easily and repeatedly reflect how these are patterns, mostly related to one’s psychology and personality, and a few spicy attachment quirks working behind the scenes. Maybe you think chemistry is stronger when communication is weaker, or maybe your heart just loves a good plot twist. Either way, some personalities are basically catnip for confusion. And before you blame bad luck, psychologist and hypnotherapist Mishika Sethi believes it’s worth figuring out why your romantic life keeps buffering right before it becomes official.

“From what I see in my practice, people who value emotional closeness deeply often end up in situationships,” Mishika explains as she ponders what personality traits can make someone fall into situationships repeatedly. She states that these are individuals who connect easily, care genuinely, and don’t like letting go once they feel attached. “They may keep hoping the relationship will eventually become clearer, even when there are signs it won’t.” 

So, do people who attract situationships struggle with boundaries, or is it more about choosing the wrong partners? “I think it’s a mix of both. Many people sense early on that something is missing, but they avoid bringing it up because they don’t want to spoil what they have. At the same time, they often get drawn to partners who enjoy closeness but avoid commitment, which keeps the cycle going,” Mishika says.

Connection Between Situationship And Your Self-Worth

Mishika further highlights that this pattern often comes from issues related to one’s self-worth more than a person’s preference for low-pressure connections. She shares that some people genuinely prefer something casual, and that’s fine. But when someone wants commitment yet settles for less, it usually has something to do with self-worth. “I often hear people say, ‘This is better than nothing,’ which tells me they’re adjusting their needs rather than honouring them.”

She also shares that most often, these situationship-prone people gravitate toward emotionally unavailable partners. “Emotional unavailability can feel familiar, especially for people who have experienced inconsistency in past relationships.” According to her, the emotional highs and lows are mistaken for attraction when in reality, it’s more anxiety than intimacy that’s keeping them attached.

So, how does past relationship trauma affect this pattern? Mishika points out that past hurt changes how much uncertainty a person is willing to accept. “After being emotionally hurt, many people try to protect themselves by keeping expectations low.” She shares that such people believe that if they don’t define the relationship, it will hurt less, even though it usually hurts more in the long run.

Situationships And Avoidance Behaviour

She also points out that often situationships are more common among people who avoid confrontation. She explains that clear conversations feel uncomfortable and risky to people who are accustomed to avoiding confrontation. “Many situationships exist simply because no one wants to ask difficult questions. Avoiding confrontation may bring short-term comfort, but it often leads to long-term confusion.”

She further adds, “Today’s dating culture makes situationships easier to slip into.” She highlights that the way people constantly stay in touch over texts creates emotional closeness without responsibility, and having many options makes people hesitant to commit. “I often see individuals questioning their needs because ambiguity has become so normalised.”

So, what can someone do to break this cycle? Mishika shares that the biggest shift happens when someone gets honest with themselves first. Being clear about what you want — and communicating it early — may feel uncomfortable, but it’s necessary. I often tell people that clarity is not pressure; it’s self-respect.