Why The Enemies-To-Lovers Trope Never Loses Its Charm

From classic novels to toe-curling rom-coms and binge-worthy shows and series, if there is one genre of a love story or a trope that never goes out of style and is always a fan favourite, it is enemies-to-lovers. A storyline, where two characters initially hate each other’s guts and cannot stand each other, slowly find themselves, in unexpected chemistry and eventually fall in love. From Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy from Pride and Prejudice to modern-day K-drama couples or even Bollywood’s Rhea and Karan from Hum Tum, audiences just can’t seem to get enough of the enemies-to-lovers romance tropes.

But what makes the enemies-to-lovers trope so addictive, and why are so many people, especially Gen Zs, obsessed with not only watching it unfold on screen, but also end up recreating similar situations in their own lives?

Familiarity, Comfort and A Hint of Toxicity

Matchmaker and relationship coach, Radhika Mohta, highlights that this usually happens because of the familiarity that such relationships seem to provide to the people. “Anything familiar, even if it is toxic it feels comforting,” Radhika states that even though there is conflict, it makes people feel comfortable since they seek comfort in that toxic familiarity. Another reason that people gravitate toward enemies-to-lovers is the tension and unpredictability that it brings. When two characters clash, it brings the energy of a push-and-pull dynamic into the scene, keeping the viewers on edge and wondering how the spark will ignite further. “This could have happened because of certain patterns in the lives of the people and what they consumed online or through shows and movies,” Radhika noted. Besides this, it is also notable that conflict often triggers adrenaline as a result, heightening emotions and can even resemble the feeling of attraction.

This trope has, over time, become one of the most popular ones across content platforms because conflicts are known to breed curiosity, and we are often drawn to see the evolution of two strong personalities as they work towards resolving their differences. 

People Pleasing Or The Rush Of Unpredictability?

Radhika reiterates that a possible reason for the popularity of this trope is also the growing need to be liked by everyone. Not so much about pleasing people, as it is about seeking validation from the person whom you have handed the controls of your life. “It’s basically the need for the adrenaline rush that everybody has—the unpredictability of a relationship,” Radhika explains. “It has novelty, it has that emotional intensity, it has a packed storyline, some interesting plot, some conflict, some climax.”

This trope, unlike love at first sight, involves transformation. Characters have to face their flaws, prejudices or misconceptions before their romance can blossom. It is that journey from disliking each other and each other’s flaws to eventually growing fond of the same that makes the storyline satisfying to the viewers. It gives an assurance to the audience that people can change, and vulnerability can soften even the strongest walls that a person builds around themselves.

“Normal is boring. The moment you get novelty sick—this is unpredictable, maybe I don’t know what’s going to come after this, let me check it out—this adventure, this thrill, this drama,” Radhika explains further how the tension and the drama that make up for this trope tap into something deeper about human minds.

Sharp Banter And Rivals Of Equal Match

What excites the audience even more is the sharp banter that is at the heart of this trope. From comebacks dripping with sarcasm to teasing to eventually forming affectionate bonds, this trope keeps the viewers hooked. “People continue to be seeking drama because it’s interesting, it’s exciting, it has novelty, it has that emotional intensity… it keeps attracting them again and again,” says Radhika. This was rightly highlighted in the Cooper Point Journal, where Grace Selvig highlights that these stories are compelling because your adversary or your enemy knows a lot about you and sees you as an evenly matched rival. Therefore, enemies-to-lovers thrives because it is about finding someone who challenges you and matches your energy.

When asked what makes people attracted to partners who initially challenge or oppose them, Radhika says, “Because it has novelty, it has that spark of drama… when everything else feels routine, this feels like an interesting plot with twists.” It is interesting to note that several fans of this trope try to recreate such scenarios in their own relationships because of the familiar scripts; that is, when people watch and consume a lot of these stories, they begin to believe that friction is the same as passion. It tends to validate their desires when they win over someone who doesn’t like them at first and makes it feel like proof of deep-seated attraction within a person’s heart. Another reason for this may be that some people find comfort in the idea that love is intense and dramatic, like in movies, instead of calm and easy. Nonetheless, what people don’t realise is that constant conflict in real life is draining rather than romantic.

When Fiction Scripts Spill Into Real Life

Radhika shares that early arguments or clashes in relationships do not necessarily make couples stronger, as these tropes represent. “I’m not against picking up a fight—if it is something that people are fighting about, it’s a good thing. They can disagree, they can discuss, they can resolve their conflicts, they can figure out each other’s conflict resolution styles,” she shares as she highlights the reason why people often tend to confuse strong emotions, like anger, with passion and sometimes even romantic tension. “It’s conditioning. We’ve been made to believe it, and now people actually believe it. And then, it does lead to an adrenaline rush—there is so much novelty, so much excitement, so much drama.”

Radhika further states that when something gets hard or a conflict gets intense, we tend to hope that it will bring out a really good outcome, and that is what gives people a sense of emotional payoff. "That’s the story you tell yourself—and when the result feels like survival and still being together, it gives huge emotional satisfaction.” The journey from animosity to affection tends to give audiences a bigger payoff than stories where love is easy. It feels to the audience like something earned, which makes them love these even more because people love seeing a love story facing several obstacles succeed.

Why We Idolise the Idea of Love Against All Odds

Talking about the idea of love against all odds and why it is so idolised in the present day, Radhika states, “Anything that requires some amount of friction requires you to overcome challenges—those are the stories we remember and idolise. If something came absolutely smoothly, we wouldn’t value it enough.” It is a deeply romanticised concept because it mirrors real-life desires for relationships that seem unique, and people feel like they are worth fighting for.

“Technically, all of us are living in a little bit of fantasy—we love our own fictional worlds. But it also reflects something real: if we’ve worked hard for it, built it together, we value it much more,” Radhika continues as she reflects on whether this trope merely draws on fantasy or signifies something universal about human relationships.

While not everyone is bound to experience enemies-to-lovers in real life, the themes of overcoming differences and challenges together to finally succeed in love, learning to compromise, and finding a love that does not force you to be strong, have long been idolised as central to successful relationships.

She further shares that while a little fantasy does not harm anyone, it is imperative to understand the difference between a healthy conflict and toxic patterns. “Toxic patterns are inconsistent behaviour showing up again and again… Healthy conflicts are where, at some stage, you arrive at solutions; you arrive at a middle path, you make it work, and you don’t hold it against someone,” Radhika sheds light on how couples can distinguish between the two.

While concluding, Radhika suggested that novelty does not have to come through somebody’s inconsistent behaviour. “Things, like, not showing up when you need them, or gaslighting, you are all part of this. But it can come through experiences—adventure travel, cooking difficult recipes together, creating shared memories,” she advises people who romanticise the enemies-to-lovers storyline and may even want to recreate it in real life.