Cash or Curated? The Great Indian Wedding Gift Dilemma

There are few things as hotly debated (and quietly gossiped about) at an Indian wedding as the question of the gift. Should you hand over a lavish envelope with a heartfelt note (and a wad of banknotes)? Or, should you pick something seemingly more thoughtful and present it tied up with a nice bow? As modern Indian weddings become grander, featuring a spectacular line-up of themed soirées and concert-esque sangeets, the pressure to get it right is real.

The Case For Cash: Timeless and… Er, Useful

The lifafa never goes out of style. In Indian culture, gifting cash, or shagun, is more than just a tradition; it’s a finely tuned art. From the symbolic ₹1 at the end of every sum to the careful calculation of how close you are to the couple (and their parents), the ritual of money gifting has been honed over generations. And in a world where many couples already own ornate decor pieces, one-of-a-kind artefacts, limited-edition barware, and even the odd NFT, cash offers something rare: freedom. There is no second-guessing whether it will match the to-be-wed couple’s tastes or vibe—they can use it however they please. “If you don’t know the couple well, it’s a good idea to gift cash at a wedding so that the young couple can use it to buy something they need,” says etiquette expert Shital Kakkar Mehra.

The bride and groom can put it towards their honeymoon suite upgrade, invest in a plush rug for their new home, or the Le Creuset Signature Round Casserole in Cherry Red, which is basically what culinary dreams are made of. And let’s be real: when you’re planning a wedding that costs more than a small apartment, no one ever says no to a little extra liquidity.

Digital payments have made it even more discreet. A concept that has made its way across the Atlantic Ocean from the west: personalised UPI QR codes printed into invitation suites and online portals that allow guests to ‘contribute’ to the couple’s journey, giving the traditional ‘shagun ka lifafa’ a glow-up. It’s sleek, simple, and no one has to wrestle with wrapping paper.

The Case For Gifts: Thoughtful And Tangible

Before you write off actual, physical gifts as old-school and obsolete, think again. In an age of curated lifestyles and aesthetic Instagram feeds, a mindfully chosen gift can feel far more personal. Whether it’s a hand-painted Pichwai artwork, a set of Murano glasses, or a framed vintage map of the city where the couple first met, the right gift can go a long way in letting the couple know you love and celebrate them.

Unlike cash, which disappears into a luxurious indulgence, a lovingly procured object can stay with the couple for a long time. It becomes part of their home, their story, and their memory of the wedding. Years down the line, they might not remember the amount in that shagun ka lifafa, but they will remember who gave them that De’Longhi coffee machine they use every morning.

“If you know the couple, or one of the two getting married, it’s a sweet idea to give a thoughtful gift,” says grooming and etiquette expert Rukshana Eisa. “It lets them know you were thinking about them.” And it shows you went beyond the expected. Especially if it’s customised, think initials engraved into silverware, or a luxury board game with their wedding date etched in gold.

So, What Should You Gift?

It all comes down to the simple fact that there is no one-size-fits-all answer when it comes to the debate between cash versus gifts at a wedding. If you’re not sure which side of the fence you belong to, and the couple hasn’t made their preference known through a registry or subtle hints, ponder over your relationship with them. Are you close enough to know their taste in decor? Have they just moved into a new house or taken up a new hobby? Then a considerate gift might hit the right note.

On the other hand, if you’re attending a lavish 800-person reception in a remotely located Chattarpur farmhouse and haven’t spoken to the couple since school, maybe a sleek shagun ka lifafa with a personal note is your best bet. In the West, couples are mixing both worlds by adding a cash registry to their wedding websites, giving guests the option to choose.

In Nigeria and Italy, a special bag is dedicated to collecting cash and check-filled envelopes from the guests for the couple. In South Korea, Chug-ui-geum (or congratulatory money) is usually presented at the entrance to the wedding venue. In return, the amount is discreetly noted down in a register, and the guests are given a meal ticket that allows them to enter the wedding banquet.

Guests who cannot attend are also given an option to transfer the desired amount to the newlyweds’ account, which is usually indicated in the wedding invite. Whichever side you land on, remember that the best gifts, whether monetary or otherwise, are those that come with good wishes and love. Those Hallmark cards were onto something when they propagated the belief that ‘a little thought goes a long way’.