Neha And Yousuf’s Intimate Nikah Is Straight Out Of A Pinterest Board

While planning a big wedding can prove to be a complicated affair, intimate weddings come with their own set of challenges. From thinking about the venue, decor, and attire to the guest list, one must get creative in more ways than one to plan an intimate and small wedding.

Something similar rang true for Neha Haider, a Pakistani-Canadian content creator, based in Alberta, as she shared details of her wedding with us.

 For instance, nobody tells you how well acquainted you have to be with your boundaries when planning an intimate wedding, especially as a South Asian person. Or just how hectic flying in traditional wedding-wear from another country can get! Thankfully, Neha had no qualms about sharing the importance of community and family support while also drawing boundaries when you’re planning your wedding. “I think it’s important to communicate to your friends and family that certain situations can overwhelm you. This way you and your loved ones can facilitate a smoother experience for everyone involved,” she tells us.

 The content creator’s incredibly ethereal wedding pictures caught our eye on Instagram. One look at the pictures and you’d probably rush to pin them to your Pinterest board! So, we had to ask her everything about her wedding and how she came about deciding the venue to be her own home.

Neha had met her husband Yousuf back in childhood, in fact, they grew up seeing each other occasionally. And if that doesn’t scream ‘Meant to be’ we don’t know what does! “I had been to some of his birthday parties when was a kid and he had been to some of mine. So, I'd always, seen him around. But it wasn't until we were older when we talked and realised, we liked each other,” she says.

While some love stories involve a dramatic, and elaborate proposal before the wedding, some are all about having a quiet, patient understanding that both are meant for marriage. “It's interesting because we didn't have a formal proposal. We’ve done our Islamic ceremony but, I said that I wanted to have a proper proposal later when we have bigger events and I want him to plan something,” says Neha. 

“I knew from the start that I wanted to get married. So, we always knew where it would be headed... And I could see myself spending every single day with him.”

But even though, there was no actual proposal, Neha and Yousuf were very intentional about the engagement ring they chose. They went with an emerald-cut, yellow gold, 0.9 Carat ring. “We say we’re going to upgrade it one day, but I love its simplicity so much!”

As for the wedding, she was clear on the wedding taking place in her parent’s home. Neha wanted something small, which only included the people closest to her. “The wedding happened at my parents' house. I say ‘my parents’ house because I don't live there anymore. I wanted to have a super small wedding. And I also recognised that if it were to be at a venue, it would have had to be planned a year in advance, at least. To me, it felt really special to have it take place at my parents' house because we'd lived there for so many years. My brother had done the same thing, and I thought it was endearing to have mine take place in the same living room.”

Unlike other South Asian weddings, where opting for bright and bold colours is the usual choice, the couple decided to have a white wedding. The bride also held the same vision for her wedding photographs, she wanted them to look straight out of a fairytale, and have a ‘Laila-Majnu’ or ‘Romeo-Juliet’ vibe to them. “All the Nikah ceremonies that I’ve been to have been dreamy and magical looking. And so, I just felt like white made sense for that aesthetic. It's also my favourite colour to wear!”

Wedding planning has always been stressful. However, the hurdles of out-of-country wedding planning by the South Asian diaspora is rarely discussed. For those who are looking to have a traditional wedding, finding the right attire and organising good catering can be more than just hectic. In such times, community and family support is integral. Something that Neha understood all too well in the process of planning her own intimate wedding.

“My husband’s aunt who is in Pakistan helped my mother-in-law figure out Yousuf’s wedding outfit and then ship it to Canada In fact, my mom got mine shipped from Pakistan as well.”

The fashion and lifestyle content creator shared how a lot of the planning was taking place over text messages. How, even the wedding and bridal attire was selected over text messages as they were sourced from Pakistan, with the help of family who was constantly a part of the shopping process.  

“If I could describe the planning experience, it was very hectic and stressful. We didn’t have that much time to plan things really,” she tells us.

“I live in a city that's three hours away from my parents and my husband's parents. And at the time, my husband was there too, because he was just graduating from university. So, a lot of it was happening over the phone, over text, we were trying to coordinate with everyone and honestly, I leaned on my mom a lot during it all.”

As for the invitations and food, the couple decided on sending out digital invitations which Neha and her mother designed using Canva themselves. However, she does plan on sending out more elaborate invitations for when they have a bigger wedding where they’ll invite other loved ones, and have a wedding reception and a bridal shower as well.

The food was organised by her mother, who chose a caterer from the same city. But as far as Haider was concerned, ordering fast food from her favourite place would have sufficed!

Ultimately though, since the guest list consisted of friends from across different cultures, the couple made sure everyone’s tastes and sensibilities were taken care of. Everything from the spiciest non-vegetarian, traditional food to vegetarian and mild-flavoured traditional and non-traditional food was included in the menu.

Aside from this, Haider experienced true joy while curating the jewellery for her special day. Along with wearing some pieces from her mother’s jewellery collection, she wore a ring with her husband’s initials engraved in it as well, something her husband Yousuf had given to her as a gift. But finding the right jewellery was also a very community-centred experience for Neha, she met with many of her mother’s friends who owned small jewellery businesses and that added to the sentimental value of the entire process.

“The larger pieces, were special to me because my mother and I went to shop for them together and it was really fun! I also had my brother pick which looks best.”

Being an influencer almost always means you’re expected to share such parts of your life with your followers. And, Neha had no reservations about doing so. In fact, as an introvert, she felt more comfortable discussing the wedding planning details with her audiences, rather than those she may have known personally. “So many of my followers reached out and shared similar, relatable experiences. A lot of women messaged me privately and asked for advice on wedding-related situations. It was nice for me to know that I'm not the only person going through certain things.”

Neha remembers the glances she shared with Yousuf during the wedding the most. And, she was emotional and ecstatic when her sister-in-law helped her touch up before the wedding as they’d been friends for a while too. And as every bride does, Haider felt overjoyed by the smallest details if the day, even how she and Yousuf looked at each other through the flowers. “I remember looking at each other through the flowers and tearing up. The amount of crying we did that day! It was all so heartwarming.”

Before signing off, Neha leaves us with her top advice for people who want an intimate wedding, “Setting boundaries and being particular about your wedding can be difficult as a desi person (even more so if you’re an introvert). Your family will often want to involve themselves to a greater extent in the process. But you’ve to be a little stubborn, you have to be willing to look like the bad guy if you want to plan a truly intimate wedding and not let wedding anxiety get the best of you.”

“I think it’s important to see where you can accommodate your family in other ways so that they feel included, but not to lose yourself and your vision in the midst of it all.”

Wise words from the bride herself.  As someone who gets overwhelmed by crowds and chaotic situations easily, I find this piece of advice incredibly useful!

Photographs by Saad & Manahil