Two stones are better than one, at least when it comes to the engagement ring. Maybe that is why the toi et moi has never really stayed away for too long.
The French phrase translates to you and me and the design has a romance that is hard to miss. Two stones sit together on one band, creating a ring that feels more considered than a single-stone setting. It can be colourful or classic, delicate or dramatic, depending on what you put together.
The design has been making its case for centuries. For instance, in 1796, Napoleon Bonaparte gave Josephine de Beauharnais a ring set with a diamond and blue sapphire. Jackie Kennedy’s engagement ring from Van Cleef & Arpels paired an emerald with a diamond. Then there was Emily Ratajkowski who chose a princess-cut and pear-shaped diamond, Megan Fox who paired an emerald with a diamond, and Ariana Grande who went in for an oval diamond and pearl style.
What makes the toi et moi particularly interesting now is the quality of the stones themselves. Rather than treating the second stone as an extra detail, high-jewellery versions can give both gems a strong presence.
“For a truly exceptional toi et moi, I love the pairing of a rare, characterful gemstone with an extraordinary diamond, two exceptional stones coming together to celebrate two exceptional individuals,” says jeweller Abhilasha Bhandari of Abhilasha Pret jewellery.
A coloured gemstone can completely change the mood of the ring. An emerald gives a rich green, a sapphire brings a cooler blue and a ruby makes the pairing warmer and more intense. The diamond provides a familiar point of brilliance, but the gemstone keeps the ring from feeling too expected.
The shape of the stones matters just as much. An emerald-cut diamond has a clean, architectural quality, while a pear or oval can make the same ring feel softer. “The contrast is what gives the design its allure: a vivid emerald, sapphire or ruby can bring depth and colour against the brilliance of a diamond, while contrasting cuts, such as a sculptural emerald cut with a softer pear or oval, create a sense of movement and modernity.”
Size is another way to change the balance. The two stones do not have to be identical in scale. “Even differing proportions can be beautifully intentional, with one stone taking the lead and the other acting as its perfect counterpoint.” This allows the ring to have a clear focal point without making the second stone feel like an afterthought.
There is also something satisfying about being able to bring different kinds of meaning into one ring. One stone could be an heirloom, while the other is newly chosen. A coloured gemstone might have a personal connection, while the diamond keeps the ring rooted in tradition. Even two diamonds can tell a different story when their cuts, sizes or settings are deliberately varied.
The trick is knowing when the combination feels intentional rather than busy. “Rather than matching, the stones should complement one another, each retaining its own identity while creating something far more remarkable together,” says Bhandari.