The Ancient Himachali Wedding Invite That Is Still Carried Door to Door

Weddings across Indian cultures have always been a grand affair that spans several days with several ceremonies, ringing in joyful and memorable moments for the families of both the bride as well as the groom. Whether it is in a rural setting with people of an entire village or in urban households with modernised traditions and rituals, a wedding has always been more than just a celebration. It has been a culmination of rituals and customs that are rooted deep in our history. One such ritual, Nyundra, still plays a major part in keeping the modern generations connected with their ancestors and the age-old traditions.

What is Nyundra?

In the hill villages of Himachal Pradesh, this multi-day celebration begins long before a mandap is set. It begins with a centuries-old tradition that has long been honoured by the people of the region, one that stands out from amongst all the rituals and customs: the practice of delivering ‘Nyundra’ or a traditional wedding invitation that is delivered by the male members of a family. This ritual, in today’s technology-first world with WhatsApp messages and easy means of communication, still focuses on giving the wedding invites a personal touch. 

What’s interesting is that this ritual of visiting homes personally is performed centrally by the male members of the family. In the tribal communities of Himachal Pradesh, this ritual, which entails the act of delivering a wedding invitation in person, is regarded as a symbolic visit that blends the ritual of tilak, sweets and blessings. It includes a man who represents the bride or the groom’s family, visiting relatives to invite them to the wedding. He often travels on foot through the hilly terrains.

While this ritual represents the beginning of a very joyous time in the lives of the bride and the groom and their families, one question that tends to always make its way to people’s minds: why are women not a part of this ritual?

A tradition that has roots deep within the history of Himachali weddings, its origins date back to a time when there were very few developed roads and there were huge distances to be covered. This meant delivering a wedding invitation across forests, rivers, and even travelling through remote terrains. These settings made it unsafe for women to travel, especially at odd hours of the day and to distant places.

Therefore, the elders of the community at that time decided to pass on this duty of delivering invites to relatives personally to the men of the family to ensure the safety of the women. This, gradually, became a regarded custom in the region, owing to the practicality of the situation and ever since, the symbolic significance of men continuing this role across generations has remained constant.

What Is The Process Of The Ritual?

The ritual of Nyundra begins when the family priest finalises the wedding dates. They then pick out an auspicious day for sending out invitations. According to a report by Mysterious Himachal, the first invite is always a special one and is sent to the maternal uncle’s house as a gesture of respect, highlighting the significance of the maternal side in Himachali culture.

According to the traditional scriptures, the visiting male member of the family applies a tilak on the upper beam of the main door of the relative’s house, indicating that the home has been invited to the joyful occasion. Further, if the man of the house is present, a tilak is also applied to his forehead, and then the invite is formally extended to him and his family.

However, the ritual gets even more interesting if only women are present in the house of the relatives. While the tilak is still applied to the door of the house, the visiting male does not apply a tilak to the women’s foreheads, simply conveys the invitation to the women in attendance and informs them about the date of the wedding.

This slight change in the tradition stems from the ritual purity codes and the symbolic practices that restrict certain interactions and mark a difference between the genders during religious rituals.

While the ritual is as old as time for the people of the hilly regions, it is still a living tradition that is followed with due conviction. It carries not just emotional weight but also historical memory and cultural identity, and reconnects people to their roots.