Can Romantic Relationships Help Men Recognise Sexism?

How often do you have to explain that you have to work extra hard to be taken seriously at work than your male counterparts? Have you felt that your male friends do not recognise what sexism is? Women have had to explain, and sometimes even over-explain, instances of sexism and misogyny to their male friends or relatives. However, A new psychological research article shows that men in heterosexual relationships with women are more likely to recognise and understand sexism.

According to new research published in Social Psychological and Personality Science, men understand sexism when their partner shares their experience about facing discrimination. The research found that men tend to empathise with their partner, and understand her perspective, which creates a shift and helps them identify a situation as discriminatory. Their partners’ experiences enable them to gain an overall awareness of the subject and commit to gender equality.

Led by Dr. Emily J. Cross of York University in Canada, the study suggests that romantic relationships serve as a unique emotional entry point to understanding gender discrimination. While traditional methods to educate men on sexism or media campaigns often fall short. This study sheds light on how hearing accounts from their partner leads them to reduce gender-biased attitudes.

“We were interested in whether romantic relationships could serve as a meaningful context for raising men’s awareness of sexism,” explained Cross, a senior research associate. “Research shows that men, on average, are less likely than women to recognise gender discrimination or understand its impact—perhaps because conversations about sexism can feel accusatory, prompting defensiveness or disengagement.” 

“At the same time, perspective-taking—imagining how an experience might feel from someone else’s point of view—has been shown to reduce intergroup prejudice and discrimination. We figured romantic relationships might offer a unique opportunity: partners are often attuned to each other’s emotions, and what affects one usually matters to the other,” he added. “That kind of closeness could give men a powerful reason to better understand what their partner is going through. So, we asked: could that intimacy motivate men to take their partner’s perspective—and in doing so, help them recognise sexism not as isolated moments, but as part of a broader pattern of gender-based inequality?”

The research, to better understand, involved two separate studies with men who have been in long-term romantic relationships. In the first one, 576 participants were asked to read a workplace scenario where a woman found out she was being paid significantly less than her male colleague with similar qualifications. Through the course of the study, across some versions, the woman was described to be their partner while in others she was presented as a friend or a stranger.

The results reflected a clear distinction. When the woman was presented as their partner, men were seen taking her perspective into account. They recognised the situation as sexist and therefore reported a broader awareness of gender discrimination.

What made this study more interesting was that these reactions were consistent regardless of how emotionally connected the men said they felt to their partner. The results showed that men were more likely to engage in perspective-taking and consciously attempt to imagine her emotions when the woman was described as their partner, which made a difference.

Meanwhile, the second study took things into real life as researchers surveyed over 500 men about times when their partners had shared their personal experiences of facing discrimination, like being passed over for promotions, dealing with sexist jokes, or handling unwanted attention.

The result once again reflected that the men who truly tried to understand how their partner felt were more likely to describe the situation as discriminatory, be more aware of the instances of sexism in everyday life and take real-world actions, including calling out sexism, or educate themselves on gender based issues. These effects remained consistent after the researchers accounted for other factors like empathy levels or traditional gender beliefs. The research reflected that the simple act of really listening to one’s partner mattered more to how the men understood sexism than what they already knew.

“We were struck by how consistent the perspective-taking effect was,” Cross told PsyPost. “These effects emerged regardless of how close men felt to their partner, how satisfied they were in the relationship, or their pre-existing views on gender equality. What made the difference was the act of taking their partner’s perspective—actively imagining how the situation felt for her when she described an experience of sexism.”

Therefore, the study delineated that romantic relationships are a very powerful tool or pathway to social change but are often overlooked by most. When men can connect their significant other’s struggles to the larger social setting, it sparks a shift in their mindset as well as their behaviour.

“One key takeaway is that man–woman romantic relationships can provide a powerful context for raising men’s awareness of sexism and gender discrimination,” she added. “When men are willing to listen and genuinely engage with their partner’s experiences, they may begin to see sexism not just as a distant or abstract issue, but as something that affects the women they care about—and recognise it as part of a broader, structural problem that demands attention.”

However, researchers noted that this did not necessarily mean that the burden of educating men on such social nuances should fall on the women or that romantic relationships or love can alone reverse the structural inequality rooted deeply in society or the minds of men.

“While perspective-taking can be a powerful tool for building awareness, it’s not enough on its own—lasting progress requires systemic changes and collective efforts to challenge gender inequality,” she explained. The study also highlighted that there were limits to the test. The study, which mainly focused on cisgender, heterosexual relationships, did not explore how these dynamics play out in same sex relationships or across other forms of intimacy.

Thereby, in a world where conversations about sexism often trigger defensiveness, this study highlights how romantic relationships can create opportunities for men to be more aware of sexism by prompting them to empathise with someone they care about deeply.