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In a world where careers take couples across cities, time zones and sometimes continents, marriage is no longer always about sharing the same address. For many couples, love unfolds through midday video calls, carefully planned visits, good morning texts and the little surprises that make distance feel less scary. While building a life together often comes with its own set of challenges, a long-distance marriage calls for an added layer of patience, trust and emotional understanding.
From communicating openly and making time for meaningful conversations to nurturing intimacy and creating shared experiences despite the distance, keeping a marriage thriving from a distance is as much about intention as it is about commitment. We spoke to Deepali Batra, Clinical Psychologist and Marriage Counsellor, to understand how couples can navigate the complexities of long-distance marriages while keeping their connection, companionship and love alive.
Manifest: What are the biggest emotional challenges couples face when navigating a long-distance marriage?
Deepali Batra: The biggest emotional challenges couples face when navigating a long-distance marriage are the absence of non-verbal cues like physical touch, shared smiles, and spending quality time together. Another problem is minor arguments escalating into fights due to miscommunication. Many of my clients share that oftentimes they feel lonely while doing performing daily chores.
M: What are some common misconceptions about long-distance marriages that couples should stop believing?
DB: There is a very common misconception that long-distance couples have lower emotional intimacy. However, on the contrary, research says that couples reported equal or higher emotional intimacy due to the distance between them. Another one is that many couples believe every call needs to be a romantic and deep one. Expecting such conversation every time you are on a call can lead to burnout. To avoid that, couples should engage in their daily chores or low-energy check-ins during daily calls.
There is also a myth that if couples truly love each other, then distance wouldn't be difficult. However, I believe that craving physical intimacy with your partner or feeling lonely is a very normal feeling. Long-distance couples should not fall into the trap of thinking that their relationship is falling apart during such times.
M: What are some ways couples can make virtual conversations more meaningful than simply discussing daily routines?
DB: Instead of routine check-ins about work, travel and food, couples must try to share their feelings more deeply to make the conversation more meaningful. They can also do their daily chores, like washing dishes, cooking or running errands while on a video call together. Many of my clients love watching movies together and reading books aloud to their partners to feel proximity.
M: What are some creative ways to celebrate anniversaries, birthdays and other milestones when partners are in different locations?
DB: The first and foremost thing for long-distance partners to do is to be emotionally and mentally secure that their partner is with them in their highs and lows. Once they accept this, partners will be alright celebrating birthdays, anniversaries and milestones even while being distant from one another. They can order the same meals and dine in together, write physical letters to each other, plan small surprises or create playlists on special days to make them feel special.
M: When should couples consider marriage counselling, and can online therapy be effective for partners living in different locations?
DB: Long-distance married couples can consider counselling even when their relationship is working perfectly fine, meaning it can help them to improve their connection or have a better quality of life. However, when couples start to find themselves persistently emotionally detached, or there's an unclear timeline for when the long-distance will come to an end, it is an ideal time to seek help from a professional.
Online therapy surely helps partners living in different locations. When both of them look forward to therapy, it makes the partners realise that their significant other is equally invested in making the relationship better.